Thursday, December 4, 2008

all I want for Christmas..

is Jessica Simpson to never sing live country again. Ever.

Dearest Jessica,

Once upon a time I truly adored you. I too thought Chicken of the Sea was actually chicken and still find the product extremely misleading. You're smokin hot, the proactive is working wonders, you're even dating a decent quarterback, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD no more country muzak. You're just not good at it and when you try to belt those darn twangy lyrics you actually sound as if you have the hiccups. I wanted to run up to you and give you water. Also, there was a man in the audience yelling at you. We couldn't tell if he said "You suck", "Play the song", or "You're a slut". Odds are it wasn't the second one. Please no more. Ever. Again. Thanks.

Yours truly,
Everyone with Ears.

Darius Rucker (from Hootie and the Blowfish) was one of performers last night at KILT's 9th Annual Ten Man Jam. This song really got to me for apparent reasons because I know it's so true.

I've never been to a "jam" and luckily my roommate who hails from the boondocks of Tejas told me that a jam is when a bunch of musicians sit on stage and take turns playing. I loooved Randy Rogers, Roger Creager, Lee Ann Womack, Hottie Hotterson Billy Currington and Pat Green. I dug it. Watching them chug beers together and make funny faces at Jessica. Especially Gretchen Wilson when you could tell she was thinking "How the hell are WE on the same stage?!" Nice.

And of course the night was finished at Wild West. Topped off with Whataburger with the world's largest cheeseburger at 230am which is NEVER a good idea. EVER.



El Cheese said...

awesome, awesome, awesome. please send her that letter for the sake of mankind!