101/1001

Trying to talk Sarah into helping me finish up this list as much as possible, so updated again tonight!

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I was talking about this list tonight, so felt the need to update it! Still really wanna go camping (of course when Houston gets back to temperatures in the two digits)...

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At the ripe old age of twenty-six (I was 26 when I started this project, now I'm 27) I've become startling aware that there is so much more to life and I have so much more I want and need to do..personally, professionally, randomly..

At the risk of sounding platitudinal, I feel I've yet to put my best foot forward, so in light of my quarter-life crisis I came across 101/1001. I'll update as items are crossed off, and I won't be offended if you decide to give me encouragement and comment me..I'll need it

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past — frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

start date..September 4, 2008
end date..June 1, 2011

completed ones are pink
in no particular order..

italics are recent thoughts or updates...

01 Pop in that Rosetta Stone Spanish edition and get to work
02 Go Skydiving
03 Write a children's book (and get published)
04 Take pictures in a photobooth (Thanks for the Christmas present Lisa and Kristi..12.26.08)
05 Get my passport stamped (someplace other than Mexico) quickly learned that Puerto Rico does not count...- dangit, just got Cabo stamped, but that obviously is Mexico...
06 Workout 450 times (a little over 3x week) - I mean, was I drunk when I came up with this arbitrary number?? NOT GOING TO MAKE THIS ONE
07 Plan a black and white dinner party (and cook it myself)
08 Go to a movie alone
09 Go to church at least 1x month..I love New Hope Church in Pearland! NOT GOING TO MAKE THIS ONE

10 Play a round of golf...yet to play a full round. I guess 9 holes and driving ranges don't count.
11 Paint my nails once a week..doing money on this one, but it's actually every other day.

12 Go an entire month without honey mustard
13 Buy a bread machine (should have added to actually use it...)
14 Buy a house...sort of
15 Save $10k/year (unless of course I buy a house)
16 Go to a Yoga or Pilates class (not a fan, just saying)

17 Write a letter to someone who least expects it
18 Send my mom flowers just because
19 Post something
20 Create my writer's portfolio..DUNZO..check it out
21 Create my advertising/professional portfolio soft of did this here
22 Run a 1/2 marathon..need to sign up for another one since I broke my leg during the last one, damn the bad luck. signed up for another one on January 30, 2011 with Jen. JUST DID THIS!! Houston Half Marathon with Jen and Josh!

23 Go camping..this will be covered in Aspen with Sarah in May!
25 Have a ring designed for me..waiting on the lovely Isabella Dean to help me out on this one!

26 Babysit a child for free so the parents can have a night out
27 Visit Napa OR Martha's Vineyard (Sophie and I are planning this)
28 Be taken on a picnic (hint, hint)..and I loved it..THANK YOU! I want to go on many more!
29 Go to a comedy show
30 Visit a local restaurant/bakery once a month..Sept 08: Fish City Grill (not bad) and Oh la la Bakery..amazing! Black Walnut Cafe in Rice Village.. Oct 08: La Madeline, Free Mason Abbey in Virginia (what the hell took me so long to find the shecrab soup here?), Texadelphia, Kraftsmen Baking.. Nov 08: Cafe Brasil (great grilled cheese minus the pounds of pesto), Farragos, Breakfast Klub, Baby Barnaby's, Shade.. Dec 08: La Vista, Backdoor Cafe..Jan 09: Lopez, aka sushi, Vietopia, Ruggles Green, Ziggys Healthy Grill..Feb 09: Mai's on Milam, Empire Cafe, Cheddars..Mar 09: Divino, The Tea Room in FW, Sage 400, Pronto, Zushi, Live Oak Grill, The Chocolate Bar, Little Bigs, Candelaris..Apr 09: The Daily Review, Dragonbowl, 11st St. Cafe (do NOT recommend food-wise), Paulies, Harrys..I lost count, but I will consider this one done since trying these new places has been so fun and amazing!

31 Learn to shoot a gun (and proper safety)
32 Scan and upload pre-digital photos (hopefully I can find them all) THIS IS NO LONGER EVEN SOMETHING I WANT TO DO
33 Potty train the teacup
34 Go snowboarding each season (Steamboat Feb. 25, 09, Keystone February 2011, Tahoe March 2011) - wait I had to have gone somewhere in 2010?
35 Sew my own handbag and one for a friend
36 Become advanced/expert in Illustrator
37 Get published at least 20 times (in at least 4 publications)..Sept 08--1 story in Barstool Magazine, Oct 08--2 stories in Barstool Magazine, Nov 08--1 story in Barstool Magazine, 1 story in Envy, Dec 08--1 story in Barstool Magazine, Jan 09--1 story in Barstool Magazine, Feb 09--1 story in Barstool Magazine, Mar 09--1 story in Envy, 2 stories in Barstool, Apr 09--1 story in Barstool, 1 story in Rose Rich Magazine, 1 story in Fort Bend Focus...crap, I lost count of this too, but pretty sure I completed it!

38 Watch the entire SATC series (just completed season 1 & 2 and bought the rest)
39 Donate $5 for each unattained task at end of 1001 days (charity TBD)
40 Keep my job and get a raise..this will be tough in today's economy, but I really do enjoy my job.. I liked...got laid off in January 2011. Does this mean I should donate $2.50 to charity for this one?
41 Enjoy my job
42 Don't sweat the small stuff..really doing well at this one thanks to my mom - she's such an inspiration.

43 Declutter my possessions (get rid of the junk)--just did a big purge, but always room for more purging!
44 Read every blog here
45 Read this
46 Create my own banner for my blog (still need to make a better one)
47 Go to Vegas again (with Amy in November 2010)
48 Listen to more Frank Sinatra
49 Take a cooking class...I just attended one, does this count??
50 Play trivial pursuit
51 Learn my geography (and have someone quiz me)

52 Make my own holiday cards
53 Spend a day going to garage sales with a good friend..I went antiquing with Kasey, so this will pass for me.
54 Go one month without Marble Slab-Oct 08!
55 Learn to play cribbage
56 DT
57 Dress in a sexy costume even when it's not Halloween
58 Use coupons (I think I meant grocery store when I wrote this, but I don't really go grocery shopping)
59 Take a train (dying to take an extended Amtrak trip somewhere... I mean DYING)
60 Purchase stock I have changed this one to..Get 50+ members for Charity Chicks Houston (now have over 4000 members!)

61 Turn someone on to Three Olives Cherry and Coke (tastes just like Dr. Pepper) Thanks to one of my doctors for trying this!
62 Become a brunch go'er
63 Wear slippers...I bought THESE
64 Make my bed on weekdays
65 Make out more..um, no comment here.
66 Be open-minded
67 Learn to hug friends and get over the personal space issue
68 Go to an Eagles game (I've obviously been to many, but want to go to another) MNF vs. Redskins 11/15/10 and Eagles/Cowboys 1/2/11
69 Buy and read a devotional book (it's a FSU devotional, which is amazing!)
70 Write a love letter (purely love, no griping)
71 Keep a gratitude journal--list 5 things I'm grateful for each day for 30 days
72 Thank Keith often for his help..doing well on this, but still have a lot of work!

73 Attend high tea
74 Chalk a sidewalk (including hopscotch) - did this on our road trip
75 Cook 15 new recipes out of Hungry Girl Cookbook
76 Go roller-skating (Jane, this is all you) - did an 80s roller skating party for Charity Chicks and it was a BLAST
77 Go to a drive-in movie
78 Join a marketing networking group--AMA
79 Go rock climbing
80 Convince someone else to start a 101/1001 list (I did this but can't remember who dangit!)
81 Do a monthly update on this list on my blog (so far so good)
82 Take a road trip with friends (must be longer than 4 hours)--I'm pretty sure NYC counts!
83 Laugh out loud everyday (if end of day nears, call KristiK!)
84 Spend an hour in a hammock (no cell allowed) (done in Puerto Rico!)
85 Meet a celebrity..met lots of athletes this year and Danny from Jersey Shore (the t-shirt store owner..ha!)
86 Pray for Britney Spears' comeback (her new CD is awesome, I'm going to her concert in March and E! News just announced she is officially back! The power of prayer :) )
87 Buy 600 thread count sheets (bought 620!)
88 Burn candles often

89 See SNL taping in person
90 Go to a college football game (OHUP in Boston!)..well we didn't technically go to the game..we just went to a bar and got wasted so this is still on the list! Longhorns vs UCLA and FSU 2010 Homecoming!!
91 Learn coding
92 Make Denali fall in love with the bark park NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN
93 Find a razor that can actually shave my knees (Thanks to Tamra's recommendation of Schick Quattro..but I changed my mind on this..there isn't a razor in existence that can accomplish this task without making my knees bleed.)
94 Keep my place stocked with bottles of wine (doing really well on this)
95 Earn $100 ad revenue from this blog
96 Create a filing system (online and paper)
97 Make 2 random mixed cds for friends and surprise them (Jane and Pope)

98 Figure out issuu
99 Twenty-six things project
100 Make a conscious effort to stop complaining
101 Party like it's 1999 on day 1001

.jl.

my wish list...

Dear Santa,

As you well know it's been a while since I have written a Christmas wish list. With bills and being an adult and all, a few bucks here and there usually does the trick so I haven't had much need for a wish list. But this year, I thought I'd spice things up a bit and send you a list - just in case you were feeling generous. Please remember, I just moved so be sure to deliver the goods to my NEW place of residence!

As you can see, I've strategically linked each photo on my list to the site where you can purchase and ship directly to me (most of which offer free shipping which is a plus, for you of course).

I would like the David Yurman ring because I have ugly fingers and what better way to spruce up your hand attractiveness than with some nice bling.

I would like the North Face travel bag because A) I am sickly obsessed with all things North Face and B) In case you haven't noticed, I travel a whole hell of a lot.

I would like the couch, because well it just looks so damn comfortable. My current couch (the one that Denali has torn up) just isn't cutting it anymore. And besides, maybe I'll find a guy to cuddle with and this couch just looks more feasible in that department. I don't spend a lot of time at home with the poor pup, so a new couch would definitely do the trick!

But in all honesty Santa, in addition to the wonderful gifts below (which needn't be gift-wrapped to make it a tad easier on you), I really wish for an amazing 2011. Twenty-ten has really sucked a$$ and I'm ready to start the New Year off on the right foot (without bunions, blisters or chipped polish to be specific).

Thanks for all the good gifts over the years...here's hoping this year is just as good (but really crossing my fingers for a damn good 2011 for myself, friends and family)!

.jl.

sometimes we ALL need a little perspective on life...

Life is hard...no question there. We all go through hard times. Recently, I've had to deal with some extremely mean spirited people. And not just people, but fathers and elementary school teachers and claim-to-be-Christ-loving people...you know, the kind of people you expect to be respectful and courteous. The kind that ought to know the difference from wrong and right. The kind of people you can only pray have a good head on their shoulders and a decent heart in their bodies.

And then you come to the stark realization that some people have no handle on life and are just plain a$$holes.

I can't fathom how in a world with so much hurt and pain that there are still people out there wishing ill will on others. Making statements that I should be dead, or I don't deserve living parents, or I'm a blundering idiot. Things like that. Hell yeah I can be an idiot, but the rest...no dice folks.

Have these people been so blessed in their lives that they've never seen real hurt? Do they not know that innocent babies die every day from cancer and other terminal diseases? Have they never seen an amazingly happy couple that after fifty years of marriage makes a harrowing 180 and change because of dementia? It's increasingly sad to see people take time out of their lives to bring pain to others. To forget what's important in life and it really makes me question how and why we are on the same planet.

Unfortunately, it's a fact of life but sometimes said life sucks. People die. People get hurt. We lose loved ones. But these are all semi natural components of life that we really can't change. Disrespecting and casting negative energy on others is anything but natural.

I'm just as guilty as the next, but it's innate to get caught up in our own day-to-day dramas. I may bitch and complain that living without running water for weeks really sucks and puts a damper on your immediate lifestyle. Having a gas line leak or going through emergency surgery all alone isn't much fun either. Waking up on a Saturday morning to a phone call that both of your parents were involved in a motorcycle accident - no bueno. There are things in life well worth bitching about. But I've also been around the block enough and know a dear friend who's precious Baby Aiden is battling cancer. I still see the pain in my Grandpa's eyes and hear it in his voice every day after losing his beautiful wife of over fifty years to Alzheimer's knowing his life will never be the same.

I'm not writing this for pity or for any other reason than to encourage you, and myself quite frankly, that the the next time you feel the need to be negative to someone or create unnecessary pain in their life to sit back and think. Refocus your energies on positive things and the people that need them, because damn folks, there are people in this world - probably sitting right next to you that need your strength and positive energy.

A wise Canadian recently told me to build my life with honeycomb and be happy. I guess for the sake of due diligence I'll give you the verbatim quote...

Instead of dirt and poison we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax.

- Jonathan Swift

.jl.

My Hero.

The man pictured to the right is my dad. My hero. For words that I’m not ready to write and not quite sure when I will be, this man has been my hero since I was two.

And last week he upped the ante and reminded me why he’s my hero.

Since I was about ten, my parents have loved riding motorcycles – Harleys to be exact. It was their thing. Last Saturday I got the call that I’d had nightmares about for almost 20 years – they were in a motorcycle accident – together. In the span of 5 seconds I could have lost my entire family. The only two people in the world that I know and have known since day one have loved me every single minute of my life.

I wasn’t there so I don’t know the full story, but I got the rundown from my mom (obviously no pun intended). On a lazy afternoon ride on a country road, their bike veered around a curve and into the other lane. They ran into a truck – going ~ 45 – 50mph. In an attempt to handle the bike and make sure my mom who was riding on the back, didn’t go flying off, this hero of mine somehow managed to bring the bike to a stop, safely. Well about as safe as it could have turned out given the situation.

Hearing my mom’s recount of the incident merely reiterates two facts I already knew, but maybe I had forgotten. One, and most importantly that God was with them. He sent an angel along for the ride that afternoon and thank the Lord that angel kept them safe. I can’t say thank you enough in my prayers because tears start to well up at the very thought of possibly losing one of my parents. Two, is that my dad is the hero I always knew he was. Growing up in school they always asked who our heroes were and while everyone else would say Abe Lincoln or their Uncle the firefighter, I always said my dad. And here is bonafide proof that is still is and always will be my hero.

Mom and Dad – Love you. Love me.

Daddy – here’s to a quick recovery and hoping we can go snowboarding again someday. I love you. Thank you for everything. Since day one.

what dreams may come

I'm 28.

Years ago I would have deemed that as ancient. I said something this weekend that I think might have been the hardest thing I've ever said out loud. I think it might have also been one of the single most shocking and hurtful things I could have said to my mother. I told her my life isn't at all what I had hoped it would be or what I expected it to be. It's not the fault of anyone (except perhaps my own for not having gone after my goals and dreams earlier), but the fact remains.

It's hard to look at your life and wonder not necessarily where it all went wrong, but where to go from here. I can't say my life went wrong anywhere. All I know is I had hoped to be someone different, living something different by now. While this blog is a lot of self deprecating humor, which I'm oddly good at, I also feel the need to toot my own horn right here. I don't know many people, or anyone really, that could actually admit to themselves and the entire creepy world wide web that they aren't as happy as they could be. I know so many people (unfortunately, girls mostly) that just pretend to be happy until they are fooling everyone, or so they think.

The easiest way to change your path is to make goals and take it one day at a time. Taking it one day at a time seems so cliche, but it's really all you can do. Those of you that aren't on twitter, I still firmly, adamantly believe it's for the good.

Example # 1: Lauren from Texas. She recently tweeted about 4 Simple Goals, which I found to be a revelation of sorts at a time I just so needed it.

The rules and howto are quite simple:

1. choose simple goals that will make your life richer and happier on a daily basis. choose things you may not otherwise get done, but that are not difficult to accomplish.

2. do not choose result oriented goals, choose activity oriented goals. for example.... instead of "lose 10 pounds", choose something like "eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day". get what I'm saying? positive actions instead of just the end result!

3. choose goals that are personal that you believe will truly make your life richer just by doing them! they can be daily, weekly or one time experiences.

4. choose a reward for each goal as it is accomplished! it can be a small or large reward.

5. blog your goals, each one as you achieve it and a big post when they are all finished before the new year! I'll be doing this too! links back to this post are appreciated.

Without further ado, here are my 4 Simple Goals:

1. Focus on Sports. I have been trying to keep up with my writing in so many forums (various blogs, local magazines, websites, etc.) but it's time to focus on my sports writing over at The Blonde Side. The trick here is that writing about sports is my number 1 dream...to be published in a magazine about a sports related topic, written by ME, would be amazing. Seeing as it's my #1 dream, I'm terrified I'll write something stupid. Hell, lots of people write stupid stuff everyday that still manages to get read and some even get paid for it! My dream will never happen if I don't buckle down and focus. So, play ball! (that was cheesy, I'm well aware)

2. Learn to make sleeping a priority and not worry so much...ya know, not sweating the small stuff kinda thing. I saw this quote on twitter (reason #2 to partake) and it really struck a chord with me: “Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.” - Mary Crowley

Over the past year insomnia has really affected my life and my health in a negative manner. I need to learn to shut off life, the computer, the iPhone, all the worries. (I will start taking this advice after I post this!)

Besides, I can't dream and even figure out what I want in this life if I don't lay down and actually sleep, so bring on the dreams!

3. Challenge Myself. I've noticed over the years I've taken the path of least resistance and have sought the easiest way out in every scenario possible. Taking the easy way out doesn't make the world go round dammit! I haven't reached out and really challenged myself - AT ALL. I was a girl that was born to make waves...following the path of least resistance hardly does such. How do you know what you want out of life and what your dreams are unless you challenge yourself - on a daily basis!? I need to start going places without using my GPS - challenging myself to new sites and destinations and relying on myself to find my way. Next time I come up with a great idea that seems like too much work, I need to press on and make it happen. These are the challenges I need to seek out - not avoid!

4. Maintain and Foster Healthy Relationships. Ok, here's where it gets a little intense, but I'm sticking with the "Simple" part of the this project here. For those of you that know me or have followed this blog, you know I'm not known to surround myself with the healthiest of relationships. Another vocal revelation that makes me feel like a big girl is that I can admit fault in many of those dynamically dysfunctional relationships of the past. After so many ended friendships and earth shattering breakups, I realize I need to stay away from people and relationships that bring negativity in my life. Focus on the people that love me and want me to succeed as well as not being afraid to open the door to a new friend or maybe someone more than a friend. Truth be told, I thought I'd be married and with a family by now. Boy was I off the mark on that one! Good thing, because the guys that have been serious enough to talk about marriage and the like were far from what I ever wanted out of life. But unless I start taking dating seriously and making it a point to run away from the bad seeds, that dream will never happen.

So there you have it! My 4 powerful, yet simple goals to help me feel like the 28 year old I want to be. The one that it's not too late to be! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the above or if you have started a similar project...please share!

.jl.

a little bit of feeling, a little bit of venting, and a lot of praying

So my last blog (about the senile woman and michael vick) was about a much more serious subject that I can't seem to shake. You may find this shocking, but I contemplated writing this particular post because I wasn't sure if it crossed the lines. In today's age of social media and wide open Internet spaces I've decided to go ahead and post it. After all, it is my blog and these are my feelings. You have the right to stop reading and close out the window at any given moment.

The subject matter is death and how different people deal with this loss and sadness in different ways. I am not posting this to try and prove I was right or to make anyone feel bad (or to make myself feel better). Maybe my outlook on death, visiting grave-sites or praying to a lost loved one will help just one person's pain...even a tiny.

The background: A FB acquaintance recently posted a picture visiting a cemetery of one of his high school buddies. From the times I've hung out with this acquaintance and witnessed his jovial manner I thought my comment would be completely acceptable and appreciated. The young man passed almost a decade ago and I was giving my acquaintance kudos for not being afraid to visit him and not being afraid to "talk" about him/post it on FB. Based on his response as well as the mother of the friend, it was obviously not accepted.

I received a FB message "yea you ==== keep it to yourself" (which prompted the post below this about privacy on social media such as FB) from the mother. After she confirmed the message was meant for me and my "rude" comment, I took the time to draft and send her the below message. You may read the below and think I'm the world's biggest bitch. You may read it and think I'm a rock star for speaking my mind and choosing to celebrate life rather than mourn death. You may read it and think nothing at all. To each his own. That's part of social media. You are allowed to say and think what you want.

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What I find rude is the passive aggressive nature if which you sent me a FB message regarding a comment you knew nothing about.

I do however apologize if you took my message the wrong way, but it was FOR and ABOUT "name omitted", not your son. You obviously don't know me (which probably should have prevented you from sending me a message in the first place), but I am a genuine person and my heart goes out to anyone and everyone who has ever suffered the loss of a loved one. I too have lost a number of people in my life and I do not believe that every comment relating to death needs to be depressing and tearful. You ARE allowed to talk to God and to those passed and joke and remember the good times and "celebrate their life rather than mourn their death." There is Scripture everywhere that states exactly that and that's what my message was in regards to.

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will by no means precede those who have died. For the Lord himself, with a cry of command, with the archangel's call and with the sound of God's trumpet, will descend from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up in the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the air; and so we will be with the Lord for ever. Therefore encourage one another with these words."

1 Thessalonians 4.13-17

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."

Revelation 21:4

I am truly sorry for your loss but that does not give you the right to bring burden into my life. How dare the two of you attack me for making a gentle, heartfelt comment about such a heavy subject. It was merely my only intention to ease the pain and show someone I thought it was great they went to visit an old friend. If you noticed, I was the only one brave enough to comment on such a powerful picture/topic.

You truly ought to think twice before sending a complete stranger a message "yea you ===== keep it to yourself". Facebook is a social media platform and when things are displayed and posted, the point is for people to comment hence the word 'social'. If this was such a private and sensitive matter you may consider using other outlets besides a public forum. A message indicating spending quality time and joking with an old friend at their grave site is exactly what got me through a similar time. How dare you judge me and try to ruin my evening with a message solely meant to attack me.

You were not put on this earth to judge me. Please remember that.

Please do not respond to this message as I do not use FB as a means for attacking people or for dramatic conversations. I truly wish you a good evening and with the most genuine sentiments I will pray for you and your loss.

.jl.

A senile old woman on social media is about as appropriate as Michael Vick being a dog walker.

Last night I received a message on Facebook that I thought was spam or an accident. It was from a woman 50+ and the subject said “yea you ---- keep it to yourself”. I messaged her back and asked if I was the lucky recipient of some awkward spam or if that was meant for me. Apparently even at an age headed straight for senility in Velcro tennis shoes, passive aggressive is still alive and well.

So I thought I’d take a minute and school Betty White’s Great Grandma on social media. For starters, don’t tell me or anyone to mind our own business when something is posted on FB or any other social media site. NEWSFLASH- Anything on the Internet IS my business. Maybe next time you should try a little handwritten note that Paul Revere can deliver for you via horseback to help ensure your privacy.

For the second day in a row I shall consult Urban Dictionary, one of my favorite online resources. This family friendly reliable source defines Social Media as “participatory online media that utilizes the group to write and direct content, rather than a read-only media. Allows for direct contact between participants.” By publicly posting something, you are not only allowing me to see it, but comment on it. This is reason number 54,683 why people over 50 should NOT be on social media (unless they are reasonable and educated enough to understand the purpose for it as well as the ramifications of posting).

(On a serious note, I Google imaged “Michael Vick walking a dog” and came across photos of dogs after they had been through dogfights and it made me sick to my stomach. Michael Vick – I couldn’t stand you from the first second I met you at VT recruitment and my disdain for you has continued to grow, especially now that you play on MY football team. My heart goes out to every little animal that has ever been victim to these dogfights and I will kick every person I come across in the balls that has ever supported/been part of dogfighting. We share the planet with some sick individuals. Give back by visiting the American Society for the Prevention of Animal Cruelty.)

.jl.

to take or not to take the call. the BOOTY CALL

Booty Calls...there's an app for that.

Booty Calls...so easy a caveman can do it.

Booty Calls...they'll make you fist pump.

Booty Calls...Just Do It.

Booty Calls - been there, done that. Literally.

And don't judge me - it's a part of life. So much so that I recently came across a study in the Journal of Sex Research (July Issue) on MSNBC which is all about: Booty Calls.

Peter Jonason, psychologist at the University of West Florida (at the time study was conducted), studied over 300 college students on the booty call phenomenon to try and get an understanding of the how and why. And more importantly how participating in these types of relationships (which whether you want to admit it or not, ARE in fact relationships), can mold you and your criteria for future relationships.

For those readers of the more conservative nature that may not know what a booty call is, I've consulted one of my favorite sources for your understanding, Urban Dictionary. Here you'll find a plethora of raunchy definitions. Mom/Dad, let me give you one of the easier versions, "a late night summons often made via telephone to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad hoc basis." However, they should update it to say, "often made via telephone, text messages, Facebook and even now occasionally via Twitter."

But back to the study. The study recruited (somehow I'm sure this recruitment was a bit easier than say, Reggie Bush...) 123 college students who had been in a booty call relationship in the previous year. For comparison purposes the study also found 97 students in a committed relationship and 69 that had been a part of a one-night stand (ironic choice of numbers there, huh??). The team of researchers found overall that emotional acts (i.e. handholding, kissing) were less common in the bootyships. "Booty call partners usually don't hold hands and kiss - they're trying to minimize confusion," Jonason said. As we all know, girls usually screw this up wanting more than the original deal they signed on for. Which brings me to the Booty Application (picture shown). This is a perfect agreement to get your Booty Call partner to agree to the terms, sign and keep tucked away in your nightstand for easy retrieval. When he/she wants to go out for ice cream after you've done the deed or asks to spend the night, just pull out this contract and wave it in their face. That'll show 'em.

Jonason's commentary/research also proves another valid point I've long been a believer of...scientists are pretty darn boring and probably don't a ton of action. This is why THEY should not have been conducting this study. I SHOULD HAVE. What if part of the study was to actually see a Booty Call in progress? Or read the racy text messages leading up to the actual Booty Call? These scientists would run away screaming like little girls. Don't believe me? Case in point; Jonason considers kissing and handholding to be foreplay and documented so in his study. If holding my hand is foreplay, I don't want any. I kid, I actually miss holding hands... :(

Elaine Hatfield, Professor of Psychology at the University of Hawaii plans to do "longitudinal work" on the subject matter where scientists follow the same individual for years to get a better sense and understanding of the role Booty Calls play in society and forming future relationships. "We should know a lot more as we track the trajectory and frequency of casual sex...," Hatfield said. My advice to you Ms. Hatfield: do not follow anyone from the likes of Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton, or "Whorey Torey" from this year's Aquapalooza.

The study was geared towards breaking down what's missing in your sex life. Take it from me (a retired booty callee), if you HAVE a sex life, nothing's missing. Oh and if you like oral, you better buckle down and get in a long-term relationship! The study found that those in long-term relationships were more apt to getting oral. Maybe I should add this line to my eHarmony posting to help increase my odds??

I feel after a post dedicated to such, I need to send out a PSA for those in need of a booty call. There is in fact an app for that. Actually there are a few, but the one that seems to be all the rage is PinpointsXwith tag-line, helps you score with strangers. There are also some booty call dedicated sites for you to peruse should you feel inclined.

.jl.

I wished for a passion and found "Wish Upon a Wedding"

My life has been stale lately. Stale as an old Ritz cracker. One may ask, how can that be, you're always so busy? Busy - absolutely. Loving life and feeling passionate - not so much lately.

Then I stumbled upon Wish Upon a Wedding, a non-profit that grants wedding and civil union ceremonies for adults with terminal illnesses, at destinations across the United States. This was it! Finally something to give me goosebumps!

Truth be told, I won't be planning my own wedding anytime soon or getting excited about my own nuptials (read completely single), so why not get jazzed about someone else's dream!?

The Houston chapter had their launch party at the Westin Galleria Wednesday, where I got to mingle with some of the finest photographers, event planners/coordinators, DJs, makeup artists, florists, bakeries, etc. in the great city of Houston. I am photographed here with one of my new BFFs (and amazing diva and volunteer) Crystal of Professional Socialites where we went crazy brainstorming ways I could get Charity Chicks Houston involved!

After watching the video of Rehanna and Christian and their special day, I knew this was a cause I had to spread the word about! I can't necessarily volunteer my services because I'm not in the industry, but I know lots of people that may want to help.

So here are a few ridiculously easy and heartfelt ways YOU can help this amazing group:

1. Do you know someone that deserves a wedding that may be facing a terminal illness? Submit an application for them.

2. Are you (or do you know someone) who is in the wedding industry that wants to be a Wish Granter? Post a small blurb (link to this blog, their website, etc.) on twitter, facebook, email, etc. - you never know who your positive word will reach.

The group was officially launched in January of this year and they already have a ton of chapters. If you live in one of these areas and want to help or learn more (or start your own chapter in a city not listed), please reach out to them.

Current Chapters:

-Northern California

-Chicago

-Southern California

-Seattle

-Orlando

-St. Louis

-The Carolinas

-Colorado

-D.C. (Maryland, Virginia, D.C. and West Virginia)

-Portland

-HOUSTON

-Las Vegas

-Atlanta

-South Florida/Miami

-Philadelphia

.jl.

kids reenact the hills...hilarious

I think I just fell victim to online bullying...

yeah I did.

Part One: The Set Off

I had an unsettling revelation today. I reached out to a few "friends" trying to get some contacts and support on an upcoming Road Show charity trip I'm doing in 3 days. I realize (trust me...I'm the one doing the planning, emailing and fundraising, so trust me when I say I REALIZE) that I do a lot of charity stuff. I love it. It's the main reason I co-founded a charity group a little over a year ago. And I know that for multiple reasons my friends and family can't support every single endeavor I get involved in. That would be crazy! I'm always sending emails or writing our charity newsletter about upcoming events, tweet about chances to donate, post facebook statuses of websites and inspirational stories I think you should read, and talk incessantly and passionately about my involvement when given the opportunity.

But after being involved in countless charity events, ones that I've poured my heart and soul into planning, ones that have aided and abetted in my lack of sleep for days on end I realized I have friends that don't support a single thing I do. And by support, I don't mean financially. Or even volunteering hours of free time. It could mean showing up at an event with a friend to show support. It could be a simple email, or hell even a note on facebook encouraging me for what I'm doing.

I don't do any of this charity work as a means of getting praise or attention. I don't get free cocktail dresses from Oscar de le Renta to wear at the parties. I don't even get gas mileage reimbursement. I do it because I like it and it makes me feel good. But then I think of friend's that DEMAND my support and encouragement when they get engaged, which ultimately requires me to spend lots of money on gifts, travel or bridesmaid dresses. Or the expectation to throw a baby shower for their first child. Or sending a housewarming gift when they buy a new house to show them how much I love them. These are milestones in their lives and I WANT to be there for them. Friends are meant to share those important moments, if and when they can.

But NEWSSSSFAAALASH...just because I don't rock a rock on my left ring finger or I don't breast feed does NOT mean I'm devoid of my very own milestones. This upcoming Road Show and the charity events that I plan are not only changing my life each and every day, but are changing the lives of others. These are huge milestones for me and ones that I had hoped my friends would bend over backwards to support me, take an interest in or at least give me a freaking high-five. It makes me sad to think the people I once considered my closest friends have not shared in the excitement of a single event with me. These same friends that are too busy to forward a flyer, post a link on facebook, or make a call on my behalf for a worthy cause are the ones that don't hesitate to ask me for favors."Do you have Rockets tickets tomorrow that you aren't using?" "Can I borrow that pink strapless dress this weekend?" "Do you mind paying for my dinner, I'm a little short on cash?" "I need a new job, can you make a call and be my reference?" Do I bat an eye? no sir.

(I'd be remiss not to give a big thank you to those that do share notes of encouragement with me and those that come and support my events and take an active interest. This WILL be another post for a beautiful day soon because it does mean the world to me.)

PART TWO: Oh No You Didn't...

Hopefully you read the little tirade above. I was (and sadly, still am) upset with that disheartening revelation. But it's life. Still a little upset, I headed over to my usual afterwork locale, the gym. I picked up my blackberry and sent a tweet about the above situation and then headed off to spinning only to return to a bevy of nonsense. For those that aren't familiar with Twitter, the main thing you need to know is that you're limited to 140 characters in each message.

the tweet in question...

sucks to see "friends" w/ no interest & ZERO support in my charity efforts. Well u know what - I don't give a F about ur babies or weddings

In hindsight, yes, that could have easily been taken the wrong way. Remember, 140 characters doesn't leave a beaucoup of space to write ALL of Part 1 from above. The frustrating part about this ruckus is that people who don't know me (but choose to follow me on twitter) are judging me, and publicly for that matter. Have I ever taken something the wrong way or rushed judgment? of course. And I'm embarrassed by it. But to start an entire revolution and get people to virtually gang up on someone is asinine. To send a tyrannizing message to someone saying I have an "evil heart" is taking it far and wide and landing on another planet. If these folks knew me AT ALL, or even sat in a booth behind me at Applebee's they would know within seconds just how much I care about people...ESPECIALLY babies and weddings.

But understand this. Bringing my charity, that I (and MANY others) have worked so hard to promote and grow, into question is UNCALLED for. By making comments about my character and tying my charities name into it for no other reason than to give your denouncing tweet some leverage is appalling and without merit. Your false and harsh judgement not only added to my already bad day, but you could have easily jeopardized the name of a wonderful charity and all the future good it could bring to those that need and deserve it. Shame on YOU.

I understand that I have 2 twitter accounts (@jaymelamm & @charitychicks) and that everything I say and do not just on twitter but in general reflects upon the other. I do think it's common sense, not to mention common courtesy, that when I post something from a personal account, to leave it at that. I should be granted a little separation between church and state because after-all, I am still an individual entitled to bad days and opinions. I might suggest foregoing this type of accusatory nonsense from the twitter account of your brand new restaurant. Probably not smart for business. I can only imagine you'd want the same if you went out and got hammered or did something that had ZERO to do with a business that you're working hard to make a name for. I'm just saying.

I pride myself on having very thick skin. I think it's a must for the life I live. A life I live everyday to the fullest and without filter. I know I sometimes say things that make people wonder what the heck was she thinking, but that's what I do. When you publicly and falsely denounce someone's charitable and do-gooder status, that hurts. That is the equivalent of hitting a girl below the belt. Especially on days like today, weeks like this, months like the past 14 when I've worked day and night with the only goal of helping others. Dedicated to raising money and awareness for diseases, creating and delivering cards to terminally ill patients, spending entire weekends brainstorming ways to help the homeless or babysitting a child for a single mom that can't afford a babysitter. To spend what scarce free time I have to help others and find ways to raise funds and awareness for worthy causes.

Man, the above sure painted one hell of a picture of an "evil hearted" girl.

One final thought...if you don't like what I have to say or it offends you, simply unfollow me and voila - problem solved.

.jl.

my life, her lens

A girl whom I've come to know and love just posted this fantab blog about me (and my 23lb teacup chihuahua she lovingly refers to as luscious denali) after capturing a smorgasbord of snapshots.

Kasey Marsh, owner of Monkey Tree Photography is the charity chick standing on the other side of the photo on the left. She has come to be my creative crony. An artistic ally. A philanthropic playmate. My spray-paint sidekick.

As my life continues to get busier and I start to finally learn a little more about what I want to be when I grow up, I realized I needed some photos for my freelance writing website. But not just any photos of course. Photos that screamed JAYME LAMM at high decibels type photos.

I've been lucky enough to have come across many great photographers here in Houston, but camera on or off Kasey and I just vibe. She knows I'm not that typical girl, she knows I'm not a model or a wannabe model and she knows I want and need my personality to shine through my photos. I hate to brag, but I've got personality and Olan Mills and Sears just weren't gonna cut it.

If anyone can capture my "I've got lots of words rolling around in my head and I'm ready to blurt them out without running them through a filter like a normal person" look, Kasey is the girl to do it!

It's always great and uplifting to hear positive words of encouragement about your personal endeavors, but coming from a gal like Kasey, those words mean a hell of a lot more.

I appreciate her work as a photographer. I appreciate her efforts to give back to great causes both as an individual and as a thriving business. But most of all, I appreciate her friendship.

(see a few more of these screaming photos)

.jl.

taking my show ON THE ROAD

My sincere apologies for being a tad absent to this blog lately. This particular post is neither the time nor the place to go into full detail about how insanely busy I've been lately, but I did want to take a minute and tell you about a project I am working on that is surely going to be the biggest yet.

On April 1st I will be departing from Houston and heading on a 2000+ mile trek ending on April 10th in NYC. No surprise to many of you, it's for charity. But not just any charity. A charity that I hold near and dear to my heart, The Jed Foundation focusing on depression and suicide prevention for college students.

I have a personal story about how a friend's suicide has left a lasting effect on my life, but my main drive for this trip (no pun intended) is simply to let people know that depression and suicidal thoughts are not something you should be embarrassed about. Depression has affected millions of people...from pop stars that we idolize, to politicians, to the girl in 5th grade that could hold handstands longer than you.

Please don't be afraid to reach out to a friend or family member if you're feeling depressed and need to talk. Don't suffer in silence for fear of being judged because the people that care about you would never judge you on something so serious. Speaking from experience, we would all rather hear the thoughts haunting our friends instead of finding out about it when it's too late.

Depression...it's not embarrassing.

If you have a moment, please this information around and help us get donations and raise awareness. This is a great cause and I feel extremely blessed to be a part of this journey.

I knew at an early age that God had something crazy and silly in store for my life...I'm thinking this might be it?

www.roadshowblondes.com

twitter @roadshowblondes

roadshowblondes@gmail.com

You can read my personal blog posts and keep up to date with our ROAD SHOW, as well as DONATE to the wonderful cause at ROADSHOWBLONDES.com.

[photo strip courtesy of Sunshine Winters]

.jl.

My Black Cloud..in the form of TWEETING, not texting

If you don't know me (or haven't read a single post I've ever written) you may not be aware of 'de black cloud' that belongs to yours truly. This little guy follows me everywhere.

So for simple humor, let me tell you about a brief incident today. For those that didn't know (don't worry, you are not alone), texting while driving through a school zone is against the law in Texas and many other states.

As 'de black cloud' would have it, I got pulled over today and it went a little something like this:

officer: ma'am, did you know it was illegal to text while driving in a school zone?

defensive me: but officer, I was tweeting, not texting..

unimpressed officer: license and registration please

me: crap. this is a rental, I don't know if there is registration in here.

nosey officer: why do you have a rental?

me without a filter: I wrecked my car last week driving while texting.

Officer proceeds to smirk and write a ticket.

Just a day in the life of JLamm. I firmly believe they should revise the law to include tweeting and emailing..

.jl.

a message to my people..

so I feel some follow up is in order after the douche bag post and some resulting backlash. let me first start off by saying thank you for the attention and comments (I only received 2 pieces of negative feedback and I'm sure you can guess which camp they came from..).

we are all scorn. by this age, and really by any age, we've all suffered some unfortunate acquaintance with one douche bag or another (this goes for girls and guys). we've all been played. we've all been hurt. we've all vented to our friends. while it may not be accurate to say "we've all posted blogs to document the experience", I have-so deal with it. I am not a bitch with too much time on her hands. I am not a vindictive poor helpless soul lacking shame. the way I see it is, my life for the most part is an open book, because that is what I choose. I love to write. And I'm damn good at it, regardless if you agree or find grammatical or spelling errors. it's what I do and it's what I love. If you, or anyone, subjects me to a situation as such, I have the full right and privilege to write about it. to make light of it. to call myself out on it or you. you made me feel like crap and I made light of it. what puts you on a pedestal and me in the wrong?

and for those of you thinking I'm a crazy chick and nothing is off limits when it comes to blogging..you're the crazy one. I have gone through things that I don't feel are appropriate for either myself, my family, or others involved to write about. I do have discretion and I do use judgement. simply because we disagree on whether or not I did in this case, is just a difference in opinion. I'm confident in my decision.

while I'm confident in my decision to have written it and everything I wrote in said douche bag post was 100% true (albeit sad, but true), I did talk to "him" last night. he gave me what seemed to be a genuine apology, took me out for a milkshake and we talked. so yes, I removed his name from the post. I'm not admitting fault, I simply see his side of things and not everyone should be judged for an encounter with a particular individual. I do think the jersey shore offspring comes from a good place and has a good heart, I just think I met him at a time where we was, and still is, figuring things in his life out. we've all done things we regret (I am solid proof of such), but I refuse to apologize for recounting a true story that shed some light on some things and brought a smile and girl power mentality to a number of souls.

thanks again for simply the feedback and interest you took...whether good or bad, this was my highest viewed post ever..and only within 90 minutes. I've received calls and emails about this story and about my ability to recount situations in a humorous manner which again is what I think I'm made to do..

.jl.

lemme tell you about this boy..

this boy who did me wrong. and not from a bitter-I got dumped-it wasn't fair standpoint. I've never been a kiss and tell kinda girl..just figured it's not my place. but today's world is filled with so many liars, players, guys that think their shit doesn't stink..all around douche-bags. and well, us nice girls who deserve nice guys (yes I said deserve), need to stick together.

girls have instincts when they meet someone. when I met Lance (real names omitted), I knew he was the playboy type. more-so the wannabe playboy type, but as I got to know him he worked really hard to change my perception of him. my bad..it almost worked. one of these days I swear I'll learn. but like a true jerk, his true colors came shining through. I'm almost disappointed in myself for dating a guy that could be THIS dumb.

he's the kind of guy that when he puts your number in his phone, real names are a privilege. perhaps he'll put your first name, just because it kinda makes sense, but he will also put a body asset he's fond of (or not fond of) and perhaps where he met you. I get it..when you get that many numbers, that many trashy numbers, you want to remember who to call when. now I know a lot of girls and guys that do this..but once you start getting older, life is not about filling up your blackberry with girls you literally pick up off the floor of a bar at 2am. (don't worry, I wasn't in that category..)

Lance is the kind of guy that comes over to my house (as we're dating, talking, what have you) when I'm sick. sick with a 104.7 fever. he comes over with soup...how sweet. but it's a can of soup that he heats up for himself, eats in front of me, makes himself at home, doesn't offer any and leaves the mess on the counter on his way out to the bar to meet more barflies. no looking back..not even a text to see if I'm still alive or God-forbid need anything.

[I have removed one line here, although it's true, I'm not trying to ruin his reputation..I'm just making light of the situation of him being a douche-bag and what he did to me..]

he's the kind of guy that tans so much he kinda resembles Garfield.. (what was I thinking!?).

I have opted for a shorter blog, so here is the kicker. Lance, is the kind of guy that goes to a charity event of the girl he's dating (this would be me) for support. sweet, right? he's the kind of guy that for the 5 seconds he isn't holding my hand or whispering things like "honey, this event was so great. I'm so proud of you", he was off getting one of my charity chicks phone numbers. ok, ballsy. audacious. douche, your call. but it gets better. he's the kind of guy to disappear from my event for 30 mins and say he had to run to the ATM, but instead go to another bar with this girl he just met at MY event. he's the kind of guy to show up at my next stop to resume the hand-holding and nice conversation. what I just found out is he's also the kind of guy to text my friend, that he just met at MY event, and invite her to hang out with us. he's the kind of guy to call her from the bar (when I went to the bathroom) to try and win her over. and he's even the kind of guy to text her from my bed at 6:30 in the morning while I'm sleeping. RIGHT NEXT TO HIM!

and ladies and gentlemen..he's the kind of guy to get MAD at me for doubting his 30 minute disappearing act. yes I may have trust issues, but when you're actually lying and a girl is smart enough to see it, you aren't allowed to get mad. you forfeit that right the second you become a douche (in Lance's case, the day he was born) or the second you lie.

(and if any ladies need to see a picture or want his number to make sure you don't have it or answer if it ever calls, just let me know..just my public service for the day..)

.jl.

crush is an ironic word, no?

crush	768 up, 54 down
	1. the act of falling hard for someone even though it isn't love yet 2. a precursor to love 3. an amazing thing that gives you feelings of nerves and excitement whenever you see them

Today I used the word (prematurely I might add) "crush" for the first time since I can remember. I got uber excited at the mere fact I may have finally suppressed all the feelings and confusion of my last relationship and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Said "light" just so happens to be in the shape of a muscular ridiculously attractive guy combined with a sense of sarcasm, genuine sincerity, and a smile that could make you..well, you know. The sincerity is what got me..obviously I'm not familiar with such a quality in past beaus.

I've said over and over again, and I'm pretty sure I've meant it, that I'm not ready for another relationship, not yet anyways. I don't need it, I don't have time for it, and it isn't a priority. All true. Part of that was also based on the tidbit that I haven't been attracted to anyone lately. I haven't met any guys that have filled previous shoes and I wasn't trying to settle in a rush to find it.

Then I said it. Out loud. And on twitter. After a few hours, the irony of the word set in. As a child I always wondered who (and quite frankly still do) appointed words to their meanings. We all played that game as kids. If "the who" that chose what words meant had called a lamp an areola instead of a lamp, we wouldn't think twice. It would be common to call part of your breast a lamp. We would have said at the infamous Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime mishap that Janet Jackson's lamp was sticking out.

So why did this Almighty Word Assigner call "puppy love", and this feeling of excitement, a crush? Was he/she trying to tell us something?

You don't find it ironic that the same word identified as a "precursor to love" is also:

crush	660 up, 253 down
	v. the process by which people are killed when thrown beneath asteam-roller or other placed in between two solid surfaces with force being applied toward them that the body cannot withstand.

I mean...food for thought, no?

If a crush can potentially lead to love, and love has always ended up ALL WRONG for me, then I think it's safe to say I can retract my earlier crush comment and revert back to pre-crush time.

.jl.

(..ps..written at 3:30am, I may wake up and decide a crush or interest of any kind may not be such a bad idea..guess we'll have to wait and see..)