to take or not to take the call. the BOOTY CALL

Booty Calls...there's an app for that.

Booty Calls...so easy a caveman can do it.

Booty Calls...they'll make you fist pump.

Booty Calls...Just Do It.

Booty Calls - been there, done that. Literally.

And don't judge me - it's a part of life. So much so that I recently came across a study in the Journal of Sex Research (July Issue) on MSNBC which is all about: Booty Calls.

Peter Jonason, psychologist at the University of West Florida (at the time study was conducted), studied over 300 college students on the booty call phenomenon to try and get an understanding of the how and why. And more importantly how participating in these types of relationships (which whether you want to admit it or not, ARE in fact relationships), can mold you and your criteria for future relationships.

For those readers of the more conservative nature that may not know what a booty call is, I've consulted one of my favorite sources for your understanding, Urban Dictionary. Here you'll find a plethora of raunchy definitions. Mom/Dad, let me give you one of the easier versions, "a late night summons often made via telephone to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad hoc basis." However, they should update it to say, "often made via telephone, text messages, Facebook and even now occasionally via Twitter."

But back to the study. The study recruited (somehow I'm sure this recruitment was a bit easier than say, Reggie Bush...) 123 college students who had been in a booty call relationship in the previous year. For comparison purposes the study also found 97 students in a committed relationship and 69 that had been a part of a one-night stand (ironic choice of numbers there, huh??). The team of researchers found overall that emotional acts (i.e. handholding, kissing) were less common in the bootyships. "Booty call partners usually don't hold hands and kiss - they're trying to minimize confusion," Jonason said. As we all know, girls usually screw this up wanting more than the original deal they signed on for. Which brings me to the Booty Application (picture shown). This is a perfect agreement to get your Booty Call partner to agree to the terms, sign and keep tucked away in your nightstand for easy retrieval. When he/she wants to go out for ice cream after you've done the deed or asks to spend the night, just pull out this contract and wave it in their face. That'll show 'em.

Jonason's commentary/research also proves another valid point I've long been a believer of...scientists are pretty darn boring and probably don't a ton of action. This is why THEY should not have been conducting this study. I SHOULD HAVE. What if part of the study was to actually see a Booty Call in progress? Or read the racy text messages leading up to the actual Booty Call? These scientists would run away screaming like little girls. Don't believe me? Case in point; Jonason considers kissing and handholding to be foreplay and documented so in his study. If holding my hand is foreplay, I don't want any. I kid, I actually miss holding hands... :(

Elaine Hatfield, Professor of Psychology at the University of Hawaii plans to do "longitudinal work" on the subject matter where scientists follow the same individual for years to get a better sense and understanding of the role Booty Calls play in society and forming future relationships. "We should know a lot more as we track the trajectory and frequency of casual sex...," Hatfield said. My advice to you Ms. Hatfield: do not follow anyone from the likes of Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton, or "Whorey Torey" from this year's Aquapalooza.

The study was geared towards breaking down what's missing in your sex life. Take it from me (a retired booty callee), if you HAVE a sex life, nothing's missing. Oh and if you like oral, you better buckle down and get in a long-term relationship! The study found that those in long-term relationships were more apt to getting oral. Maybe I should add this line to my eHarmony posting to help increase my odds??

I feel after a post dedicated to such, I need to send out a PSA for those in need of a booty call. There is in fact an app for that. Actually there are a few, but the one that seems to be all the rage is PinpointsXwith tag-line, helps you score with strangers. There are also some booty call dedicated sites for you to peruse should you feel inclined.

.jl.