Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dear Arm, Welcome Back to my Body.

After 7 heinously grueling weeks I finally got my arm back. If you want to get technical, I had it the entire time, but I got my sling off. I had surgery before Easter and I thought I knew what I was in store for since this of course was the 2nd surgery on the EXACT same bum shoulder, but apparently my temporary amnesia resurfaced.

If you've never had to temporarily part with a limb, you cannot imagine the hassle and frustration that goes into it. I mean, do you have any idea how bothersome it is to know that John McCain can lift his arm higher than you can? There are so many things I will not be taking for granted after this..

+ two-handed sandwiches on the menu (you always have to make sure there is someone there to cut your steak too!)

+ double fisting or even single fisting drinks at the bar...hell going into bars is practically forbidden in fear of someone bumping into your little wing

+ taking a shower (imagine waiting patiently for your boyfriend to get home from work just to cover your arm and boob in saran wrap so it doesn't get wet) this should also include shaving

+ washing my hair and putting it in a ponytail (hair washing only commenced in the kitchen sink for a pretty lengthy amount of time)

+ DRIVING

+ being able to lift my arm to apply deodorant (subsequently thankful for not being able to lift my arm to smell it)

+ sleeping in ANY other position other than on your back with your robo-armed sling pointing directly to the ceiling

+ the gym (most of us hate it, but imagine if you physically CAN'T)

This list could legitimately go on forever. While the past 7 weeks may have been comical for some, it has literally been hell for me. I'm tickled pink to have rejoined the world of healthy individuals and I'm praying that my black cloud will take a reprieve from effing up my life. I think 18 weeks of rehab will suffice.

Thanks to those of you that helped me during this time and the get well wishes. I undubitably would not have made it through this without y'all :)

.jl.

3 comments:

Tam'ra said...

Welcome back, Jayme's arm! You have been missed.

jb said...

Glad you are all better.

El Cheese said...

welcome back, arm!