even crazy dreams come true

I often forget how powerful music and lyrics can be in a time of need. I went to the Carrie Underwood concert tonight at Reliant with Brittany and Jen and got more out of it than just good tunes.  I think I gained some perspective on a few aspects of my life and was somewhat inspired. 

First..Carrie Underwood is smoking hot. If anyone reading this has ever found a flaw in her, please let me know.  I need to know she's human and has at least one flaw.  

First and a half.. She talked about how she can't seem to find Prince Charming (join the club sister) which is mind easing and alarming all at once.  She basically has the ability to hand pick men from all over the country and even she gets screwed over and can't seem to find a good one. (i.e. songs about kissing frogs, the more boys she meets, the more she loves her dog.)  And the fact she did a Fleetwood Mac and a Guns n Roses cover really made me heart her even more than previously stated.  She's a bada$$ chick.  

Second..her voice is amazing.  I've always loved her music (hence going to her concert), but tonight as I sat back and enjoyed the night and listened to her, the words really struck a cord with me.  (My disclaimer for this post is that I don't often get into music and my interpretation of the lyrics may be the furthest thing what she meant when writing them.  But that's the beauty about music..everyone takes what they want or need and translates it personally.)

I can't remember the last time I spent an evening somewhere when I KNEW there would be no single, straight men there.  Out of 15,000 bodies under one roof, it truly was a girls night (with sparse couples scattered throughout).  It's so nice to be somewhere and enjoy the night for what it is.  To not worry with men.  To not think about men.  Who am I kidding, as I continue to write you'll see I was obviously thinking..

So here are some of the lyrics that hit me tonight..

Flat on the Floor..

"You can't knock me off my feet,

When I'm already on my knees"

"Don't knock on my door cause I won't come

I'm hiding from the storm 'til the damage is done"

and all of these lyrics will hopefully lead me to this point..

"'til there ain't no sign, 'til there ain't no sign, 'til there ain't no sign of you"

Lessons Learned..

"And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,

Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,

Every change, life has thrown me,

I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,

I'm grateful, for every scar,

Some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,

Some chances I just threw away,

Some roads,

I never should've taken,

Been some signs I didn't see..

Some wounds,

That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,

But it don't make no difference,

The past can't be rewritten,

You get the life you're given.."

If you want one more, this entire song really says a lot..

and my two personal faves..

Before He Cheats..

"I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights"

Obviously, I would never do this, I just really enjoy the line and the fact I've played softball my whole life makes it even better.  On a side note, how troubling is it that this song was apropos to the 3 of us..recently.  Unfortunately, it's a part of life that people fall out of love, which I'm still learning, but end it first.    

And I'll close with the most appropriate lyric to date (at least for me)..

Start's With Goodbye..

"It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,

Starts with goodbye"

.jl.

PINK ladies

(caption 1-frikkin fairies) (caption 2-the winning PINK ladies team)

Sadly, I can't cross a round of golf off my 101/1001 quite yet, but I did "participate" in the Pink Ladies Golf Tournament at Sugar Creek today and had a blast. The tournament was a 9-hole course designed mostly for beginners and our foursome, get this...WON. (And just to clarify for the nay-sayers out there, we won LOWEST score, not highest score.)

It was to benefit the American Cancer Society right in Fort Bend County and I spent time with some of my co-workers...dressed in pink, drinking pink champagne, riding around in decorated golf carts.

My favorite shirt was "I support second base". Can't wait to do this again next year as reigning champions and come up with new and improved costumes and cart decorations.

I miss Cindy Blamire.

.jl.

d i g i t s

So I learned something new today at work...which thankfully, happens often.  But this, I had to share..

When I hear "digits" I automatically think of some guy trying to get your number.  You know, the cheese ball line, "Can I get your digits" I know that doesn't only happen in Virginia..

Anyhow...a "Digital Rectal Exam" is a finger..not a Canon Power Shot Camera.  So the term digits has forever been changed in my vocabulary thanks to my recent entrance into the medical field.

.jl.  

Cover Story #2 for October Barstool...Pigskin Pubs

Pigskin Pubs (p 14 &15)

For those of you with a 60-inch projection screen, theatre style seating and a nice lady friend to cook the perfect bite-size football snacks (or Buffalo Wild Wings on speed dial) you may not get much use out of this article.  

But for those of us without those palatial amenities, here are some of the best places to park your derriere in front of a plethora of larger-than-life TV’s accompanied by countless drink specials and a menu bigger than Golden Corral.

The Wet Spot in Midtown is the numero uno place if you dig decks, numerous TV’s and a myriad of drink specials. The bar is not only stocked with your favorite alcohol, but it also comes equipped with individual TV’s for those of you afraid of sharing. In honor of one of the greatest sports on earth, the Wet Spot has Happy Hour on Saturdays and Sundays from 11a-4p with $5.25 domestic pitchers and $1.75 domestic drafts. Load up on your favorite dogs during Dog Day Weekend with $2 hotdogs and $2.50 corndogs. Bloody Sunday is a fan favorite with $4 bloody mary’s all day. The Wet Spot is also the official watch party for the Michigan State Spartans. Just the name alone gets me excited for football…and maybe a few other things.  

Host of the official Aggie watch party, Pub Fiction is a staple in the lives of football fans. Not only did Pub just revamp their already stellar menu, but on Monday Nights the food is half off. To wash it down, enjoy $2 domestic drafts, $2 wells, and $3 jager and tuaca shots. To make the most of Game Day Saturdays, Happy Hour is extended from 11a-9p featuring $2 wells, $2.50 mimosas, $0.35 wings and $2 Chicago-style dogs. Stop by on Sundays for a liquid brunch consisting of $10 carafes of mimosas, $3 build-your-own bloody mary bar, $3.50 domestic drafts and $4.50 import drafts. And $15 allows you to ravage 50 wings. Pub has over 40 HDTV’s for your viewing pleasure and 4 HD larger than life projection screens.

By far the most eclectic place to see a game is the aptly named Beer Island located in historic Heights with over 80 beer selections to choose from. Bring your four-legged friends with you because this bar loves dogs. They’re so dog friendly they’d probably let three-legged dogs join in the festivities. Beer Island is pretty much the Lone Star Headquarters (which by the way is the number one selling beer in the Heights) with $2 Lone Star pints and $5 pitchers. So while you’re sipping on Lone Star, your best friend Sparky can enjoy a fresh bowl of H20 courtesy of the sociable staff. The sports lounge fully equipped with recliners and couches make this place feel like the comfort of home. The menu consists of drunken dogs (wieners cooked in draft beer), $5 pizza and $1 popcorn. Beer Island’s claim to fame are their Hawaiian Five-O and Wild Island Strawberry sake shots. It’s probably considered a faux pas to not try one of the flavored sake drinks.  

Union just opened in Midtown and is going to be a prime destination for football with $8 domestic buckets and $11 import and the best Sangria this side of the confederate flag and 9 high def LCD ginormous screens. Swing by and grab a spot on the patio.
Lucky’s Pub is one of the best new spots to watch any sporting event, especially football. With party rooms big enough for alumni groups to horde, there is sure to be a motley crew of fans. Savor $7 Bud Light pitchers all-day Saturday and Sunday or $15 Bud family buckets. They feature a half price appetizer every weekend as well.

Kentucky Club has managed to get on the radar of many football fans as of late, and for good reason. It’s a chill little bar in a strip mall with enough TV’s to make you go cross eyed and drink specials so good the AA members should be warned ($4 pitchers of beer for crying out loud!).  

All the bars listed above have foregone noise levels during football season so if you’re the loud obnoxious fan that just can’t cheer loud enough, come on in. Just like Journey, they’ll welcome you with open arms. And if you’re the fan that just sits there with your tail between your legs, grow a pair and watch football with your mom.

.jl.

Cover Story #1 for October Barstool...Calling all Creepers

So both my articles for the October edition of Barstool Mag were the cover stories.  I love this mag!  Check 'em out.

Calling all Creepers..Halloween Happenings (p. 49 &50)

“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Probably one of the most eloquent statements to come out of Lindsey Lohan’s mouth. Ever. (It was in Mean Girls for those of you unfamiliar with the teenybopper movie.) And probably the main reason every girl takes the opportunity to dress up and every guy takes the opportunity to stop playing rock band and head out on the town. It’s also the one night of the year where guys can be overbearing and throw out the worst pick up lines. I mean if it doesn’t work, you can just blame it on the costume and say you were in “character”. Seriously, every guy gets a free pass on Halloween.  

Halloween is to Houston what gold medals are to Michael Phelps…effing exciting and everyone wants to be a part of the action. It doesn’t matter if there’s a recap about the event a few nights later, you can’t miss this night. And you just can’t get enough of Halloween, which is exactly why many of your favorite bars have created an entire weekend dedicated solely to this holiday. Houston knows how to party every night and thankfully Halloween is no exception. Last year Michael Vick jerseys with stuffed pit bulls hanging from the neck were all the rage. If any of you can pull off a fake 5-foot torso, a Michael Phelps costume may top them all. With the upcoming presidential election, I foresee a sexy Sarah Palin being a hot commodity this year, along with an X-rated Miley Cyrus. Frilly dresses from the ever-popular Sex and the City cast members will also probably take up a lot of space on the dance floor.  

In honor of the scandalous celebration, bars are gearing up for a great weekend full of costume contests, drink specials and even haunted houses. This year’s nominees for badass Halloween parties in no particular order are:

Mark your calendars for Roctober where crazy costumes and Halloween will be celebrated every weekend during October at Rocbar/Mosaic. You heard it here first…5 weekends of insanity and intoxication. The fierce lineup starts on Friday the 3rd with Horror Film Classics (Nightmare on Elm Street ring a bell?), and on Friday the 10th with Reservoir Dogs. DJ’s John Huntington and K-sly are bringing the music inspiration on the Black & White party Thursday the 16th with Dusk til Dawn the next night. Be prepared to party with Natural Born Killers on Friday the 24th, but don’t be too alarmed even though they are celebrating real-life historical killers in lieu of the pansy fictional ones we’ve watched on TV. If you’re a bed wetter, consider yourself warned. Devil’s Night will take place on Friday the 30th and the highly anticipated Beetlejuice Party will be on Halloween night. I wish every month was Roctober so be sure to maximize their party schedule.

Bronx Bar has been the apex of theme parties and costume parties in our area codes for quite some time and this Halloween they are sure to keep the trend alive so put on your big girl panties and get ready to raise the roof.  

The Galleria Bronx Bar will be partying with a Heaven and Hell theme. Come dressed in your best angelic costume or your worst devilish costume and bring the good/bad mentality along with your outfit.

If you’ve ever been to Bronx Bar, you know the staff will be stiff competition in the costume department. I don’t know where they come up with this shit or how long they take to plan their attire, but they are never short of amazing. Stop by either location Thursday, Friday or Saturday to enjoy drink specials, a few of your favorite DJ’s spinning scary tunes and best of all, no cover charge.  

If you haven’t been to Bam Bou in the Village yet, then Halloween is the perfect excuse to take a gander. Come experience their hot new set up and their mock movie stages featuring “The Ring” and “Michael Myers” on Halloween night. Don’t forget your costume, because first, second and third place prizes add up to over $1500 in prizes. There is a $10 cover before midnight, but the scary bottle discounts before 11 and other drink specials all night will be worth it.  

Celebrating their one-year anniversary, Lucky’s Pub is going to party like it’s 1999, except of course it’s 2008. The 12th Annual Pimp and Prostitute Ball is set to take place on Friday, October 31st from 8pm until close. Sports Monkey always puts this party on and every year it gets better and better. Costumes get skimpier and funnier, drinks get stronger and taller and the crowd gets crazier and crazier.  

Tickets are required for this shindig and are $15 in advance (http://www.sportsmonkey.com/Events/pnp2008.asp) or $20 at the door. If you plan on dressing up (and hence the holiday, there’s no reason you shouldn’t), consider the ticket prices an investment. Almost like 401(k). If you sign up for the costume contests by 10pm, you could win $4000 CASH if you’re rockin’ the best digs. Lots of cash and prizes to be won, so dress to win Pimp of the Year, the oxymoronic Classiest Ho, and Best Overall Costume. What other bar can you knock back 40’s plus $3 beers and $3 wells all night? Per their website, “Round up yo bitches and grab yo gold. Wrap some fishnets around that fly booty, cuz it be time to go out and Pimp N Ho it!” You still have some time to practice your pimp stroll so start working on it. Oh, and buying tickets in advance keeps you from waiting in line, and with over 1000 people expected, not waiting in line is a damn good thing. There will be a backdoor marked especially for you VIP pimps (the ones that purchased tickets in advance). The backdoor could come in handy because dressing like a pimp in downtown Houston can be easily mistaken. I highly recommend pimping it inside Lucky’s rather than outside.  

Pub Fiction will be celebrating Halloween all weekend. Invitations have already been extended to Dr. Seymour Bush, a slew of home wreckers, gold-digger’s and Victoria’s Secret Angels to make the party even hotter. They are planning a Halloween party so ridiculously ridiculous on Friday and Saturday night that they’ve felt the need to extend the bash into the parking lot. Note to self, there is tons of room for those of you with the larger get-ups that sometimes find it a tight squeeze on the dance floor. Between the inside and outside bar scene, you’ll have plenty of room to navigate all the dance floors or make your own.  

Still a mystery to all of us, Pub Fiction will feature a special live performance on Saturday night from one of your favorite Texas country artists. Drink specials are yet to be determined, but any drink at Pub is a special one. The drinks will be plentiful as will the cash prizes for the best costume of the night so come dressed to impress.  

Here are some other notable mentions for hair-raising Halloween hotspots. Pearl Bar will be devoting an entire weeklong celebration to Halloween. There is never a cover and they will have frozen scary lemonades and other tantalizing libations. I can see it now..animated costumes battling it out at a frightful game of flip cup. May the best costume win! Seeing as Pearl Bar hasn’t really designated what the winnings will be (if any), the winner may only receive the ability to bear the title “Pearl Bar’s Best Costume”. Pretty sure bragging rights would suffice on their own.

Whiskey Creek is always a safe bet for Halloween as they somehow consistently manage to get the hottest girls and guys in the craziest costumes on one dance floor year after year. Located directly next door is another fun venture, Escobar. Add risqué costumes to the traditional scenes and dancing at either of these locations and you’re sure to have one hell of a Halloween.

Regardless of your Halloween bar of choice (hopefully plural) or preferred alcoholic concoction, we have enough confidence in our hometown bars to know you’ll have a badass time wherever you go. Just remember to dress to kill because cameras will be in full swing during this freaky holiday. And remember, because we’ve been blessed to celebrate this on a Friday, most bars are extending the fun-loving costume shenanigans for at least three days and in some cases, one scary month. I’m a firm believer that every holiday should include costumes. 

.jl.

no power in the tower..take a hIKE

LEFT: what used to be a soccer field
MIDDLE: heinous gas station lines
RIGHT: will my Sam Adams still be good?

hurricanes are like hangovers..after suffering through a category 2 hurricane (cat 2 for the veterans) or higher, you find yourself equipped with an ironclad excuse for pretty much anything in the subsequent weeks. You’ll wait in line 17 cars deep at McDonalds, you’ll drive around town (due to debris and curfew, your time is rather limited) just to see what’s open, you’ll use all the gas you have for this joyride and then want to punch yourself in the jaw to have to wait in line for more gas, or even worse, realize there is NO MORE GAS. Even if your offices are open, no one really goes to work because you can’t shower, or you can’t find childcare or you’re so incredibly lazy you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

Hurricane Ike hit the Houston area on Friday, September 12 around 11pm and I’ll fully admit we got hit a hell of a lot harder than I thought. Laying in bed hearing the 90 mph winds and stronger, I was beyond confident the windows would burst and the glass will fill my pretty face. I sat in bed with pillows on my face simply trying to protect my dome. I am one of the lucky ones having weathered through it fairly well. Aside from no power in the tower for almost a week (and still going), having my first ever cruise cancelled, and losing all the food in my refrigerator and freezer, there are many other Houstonians and Galvestonians that lost much more than I and I can only offer my prayers and condolences to each and every one of them. Having lived in FL for over 2 years and experienced some other bad ‘canes, I realize the difference is Floridians don’t freak out AS MUCH as Houstonians. Maybe it’s the Rita and Katrina era and people just don’t ‘ef around anymore.

Some peculiar things I witnessed during Ike..

Gas Lines. I’m talking Disney World on opening day, free to the public, which also happens to be perfect weather and a school holiday. Packed. Gas station attendants were actually directing traffic at the stations. I’m talking backing up the entire exit off a freeway, with a double line of cars. The broadcasters on the radio said that people were waiting over 3 hours in line for gas. I mean, when nothing is open and there’s nowhere to go, WHY do you need gas?

News Propaganda. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves in the entire world happens to be how newscasters react during a tragedy such as Ike. While I don’t want to downplay the seriousness of Ike and the havoc it wreaked on our town (and still is), the news reporters treat this with as much drama as an episode of The Hills. The editing is eerily similar too. Take for instance, a gigantic uprooted tree that is so large it’s almost unfathomable how any amount of wind could have done that. Rather than showing it from one angle and saying “Look at this one tree located on Main St.” the news reporters get sneaky and show 3 different angles of the exact same tree to make the viewers think there is an entire forest uprooted and we’ll soon run out of oxygen supply. As if my mother and father weren’t spastic enough (not to mention all my lovely a$$hole friends), seeing the news sends them into a tailspin. They were back in VA and not able to get a hold of me for a while, so you know Joey T. was set on The Weather Channel. We had the opportunity to drive by some of the highly broadcast places and what we actually saw and what we saw on the news differed greatly. At some points, I actually thought they were doing more harm than good. They were sending our already delicate Houstonians into a panic and making them freak out more than was necessary. So don’t believe everything you see or hear.

I’m going to approach this next paragraph with EXTREME caution, but hearing this sent me well over the edge. We were in the car (on a one hour venture looking for donuts…who knew, everyone craved donuts after a hurricane like I did?), and 93.7 The Arrow (may not ever listen to this station again because of this) mentioned that the Houston Police officers were working crazy hours and didn’t have any food or water. They asked if any of us had extra we should take it to them. First of all, it’s hard for ANYONE to have to work during this time, but just a few months prior the Houston Chronicle released an article that police officers in Houston were getting fingers points because they more than doubled their salary with unnecessary overtime. The officers are obviously making overtime to patrol the streets and help the city overcome the aftermath of Ike; therefore, I am a firm believer they are being more than compensated for their time. At the time this ran on the radio, NONE of us had food or water so why on earth would the officers get free radio time to beg for freebies? Why not the hospitals, local neighborhoods, or senior centers get this plea? Police officers are some of the few folks that will be paid during this mess. Take for instance those hourly workers whose places of employment are closed for days, weeks or possibly even months. They aren’t making ANY money, but yet the radio station feels the need to ask the citizens to stop by the precincts and drop off essentials? I heard on another station that looters set a local Wal-Mart on fire and a mother of 3 was employed at Wal-Mart. The manager had to call all the employees and tell them to find new jobs until it is rebuilt. What about posting a bulletin to help out that woman or other similar situations? Wow, my blood pressure got dangerously high just writing this!

Food. After you’ve gone through a hurricane, you eat like you have a hangover. There aren’t many options, but of course you are craving something. One thing I did notice was that a lot of mom and pop restaurants were open quicker and longer than some chains taking every opportunity to seize the day and make a profit. Just another reason I want to start visiting more of these local places. I also lost some confidence in my dear friends at Chick Fil A. Boy are they wimps! Every one of their locations boarded up from Thursday through Monday without even knowing how bad the storm would be. Bring on the chikin! I already knew you were somewhat lazy for not being open on Sundays when I need you the most, but this took the cake.

Could you even imagine if you had planned a wedding during this horrendous time? Flights were cancelled so some of your out of town guests may have been SOL. I heard of one wedding that got relocated to Dallas (4 hours away). Talk about one hell of a commute. Lets hope if it was open bar that the guests got a hotel rather than a cab back to Houston. Another wedding that was supposed to take place on Saturday (the night of Ike) got bumped to Friday. I can’t fathom having to change my wedding date because of something like this! Note to self; don’t plan a wedding OR A CRUISE during hurricane season. Yes, my first ever cruise set to take off from Galveston two days after Ike landfall was cancelled, as the port was closed indefinitely.

Big Brother. Picture watching an entire, fun-filled, drama induced season of reality TV only to lose power and miss the final 2 episodes of one of your favorite shows?! It seems so cruel to have to google “who won season 10 of big brother?” after such a long season. I guess it’s true what they say…desperate times call for desperate measures.

Still no power in the tower. My apartment complex is comprised of 3 buildings..one large tower in the middle (where I reside) and 1 midrise building on each side. Oddly enough, BOTH mid-rises have power restored, but the tower is pitch black. I live in a “true loft” which basically means no windows and super high exposed ceilings. My entire complex is so dark, I have to use my cell phone light to guide the hallways and even that isn’t bright enough.

A special thanks to Paul and his family for taking the teacup and I in during this time and to all my friends and family for checking up on me.

.jl.

first time in ink in houtex...i heart barstool

so here is my first article published since I've been here in Houston (I know...long overdue...story of my life).
Barstool Magazine, September Issue, pgs 56 & 57
(soon to be on www.barstoolmag.com and special thanks to Andres D for the great photos for the article)

GEM IN THE CITY

Located deep in the heart of Midtown you’ll find the mother ship of liquor stores. It’s a staple in the lives of most fun-loving Houstonians and is a prime destination for tourists visiting the area. After all, who in their right mind would pass up a chance to visit 48,000 square feet dedicated to all things bar and party? Spec’s, located across the street from Pub Fiction, has been Houston’s central supply of beer, liquor and wine for nearly 40 years.

With over 3,000 customers daily, 170 total employees, and “aisles” that are aptly named streets, it’s not hard to get lost in this place. And it happens quite often according to the staff. It’s a city within a city. Maybe people aren’t actually getting lost; maybe they are in awe of the store and all its glorious wonder. Maybe the largest walk-in cooler in Houston mesmerizes them and their indecisiveness gets the best of them. Debating between the 1,655 ales, the 232 lagers, hundreds of kegs, or the umpteen specialty and domestic choices for the steadfast beer lover can be quite a task. The walk-in cooler alone is comparable to picking out a piece of wood at Home Depot.

The plethora of potions is beyond one’s wildest dreams. White sangria. Red sangria. Frozen sangria. Peach sangria. Italian sangria. Restaurant-style sangria. Sangria recipes. Don’t forget the sangria-scented candles. In tequila options alone there are over 900. No wonder tequila makes her clothes fall off. Luckily the staff at Spec’s prides themselves on customer service and is there to help you find the perfect beverage to suit your mood. If your cash flow is limited they’ll help you find a budget-friendly choice. Those that aren’t budget-conscience can treat themselves to Louis XIII diamond series cognac for $5263.15 a bottle. If you need a particular size they can do anything from supersize to mini-me bottles to stuff in your cargo shorts. Folks blessed to bear the 713, 281 or 832 area codes should stand up and take pride that the largest liquor store on the planet is right in your backyard. Only Houstonians came claim that. Just one of the many reasons Houston is the #1 place to live, work and play according to the most recent poll of US cities. This mother ship also boasts the title of the #1 seller of Crown Royal above any other store in the world. That’s right. Numero uno. Second to none.

Perhaps mother ship of liquor stores is an understatement. Maybe mother ship of all things amazing is a better fit? Spec’s has a ginormous deli with sandwiches so big that the bouncer at your favorite bar will probably need a doggy bag. They roast their own coffee daily on premises and pop their own popcorn. Looking for a specialty cheese? They have a larger selection of cheese than Brett Favre and the entire state of Wisconsin combined. All kidding aside the annual Cheese Festival is September 14, 15 and 16 so go see for yourself. Looking for flavor? Don’t miss 2 entire shelves devoted solely to hot sauce. A chocolate truffle bar manned and operated by Officer Larry. Over 1500 cigars and a cigar connoisseur to help differentiate them all. On the hunt for the perfect tailgating accessory for the upcoming football season? Try a full size blender with an AC adapter to plug into your car and pick up a margarita mix for the game. Invest in an alcohol breath detector to ensure optimum safety. Or splurge on a new grill. Seriously, your challenge if you choose to accept it is to find something Spec’s doesn’t carry.

If you happen to forego a night on the town and throw your own soiree instead, the staff at Spec’s are party planners in disguise. If you are lacking creative juices (in the drink department of course), they’ll help conjure up drink recipes and the perfect pairing of food to make your shindig a hit. They even sell post-party clean-up supplies to hide the evidence from your wife or roommate. They’ve also got you covered with disposable cameras so you can take pictures of the jacka$$ of the party. (Just be sure to publish them online so everyone can enjoy them.)

When it comes to parties and tailgating, Spec’s has it all. But they also service 1200 bars in the local area providing beer, wine, bar supplies, furniture, and even hand dryers for the bathrooms. You name it, they’ve got it. Or they’ll get it. That’s what they strive for-to make each and every one of their customers happy. And satisfied customers for Spec’s mean a lively and entertaining nightlife for all of us. Which of course makes our job at Barstool better everyday.

So we not only salute our bars and bartenders for keeping Houston’s nightlife going, we also thank Spec’s and all the phenomenal things it brings to our city.

(And for those partiers that never leave home without their A-game, they even carry a full stock of hangover meds.)

.jl.

maybe one day..

I'll be good enough to get on this list..click on the AdAge icon to see what I'm talking about..

.jl.

red rover red rover, send a VITAMIN WATER vending machine right over (please?)

To add to my Christmas list already equipped with a bedazzled sweater vest, I'd like to top the list with a Vitamin Water vending machine. Although I consider myself intensely hilarious, this is not a joke. Aside from the fact that Vitamin Water is pretty much amazing, if you've ever seen a Vitamin Water vending machine you know what I'm talking about. The look is so cool...and yes, trendy. I said it. I love trends.

(Side note, my mom recently started reading my blogs...scary...but she's amazing and she gets me everything I want since I'm an only child...so mom, please bundle this up with a fragile sticker and send it on over. You mustn't completely fill it with Vitamin Water..maybe just half. Thanks.)

I must be honest with all of you.. I only started drinking Vitamin Water because of their marketing. Being in the industry, I had to give props to Vitamin Water (aka Glacuea, aka Coke) and they deserved to sell an extra bottle based on their hard work. After doing research on their grassroots marketing, I am beyond inspired with their tactics. And you know I did my research..

First is their website. No wonder I love this stuff...they have a section labeled "Our Friends" and Carrie Underwood who is smoking hot and a great singer is one of them. My fave is Donovan McNabb..the quarterback of the greatest football team..Go Eagles! I'd love to be friends with either, so since I drink the water, can I call them cronies?

Check it out...www.glaceau.com..the colors and layout and other fun things are countless. They really found what their target audience was into and hit a homerun..but not a Barry Bonds kind of a homerun..a legitimate one. They have Vitamin Water buddy icons for instant messenger. If you are saying "who the hell would have a Vitamin Water icon?" please add me to your buddy list. Yup, I do. And I'd venture to say a number of others are sporting it as well.


Let's move on to Direct Mail (DM). For anyone that's ever dabbled in Direct Mailings, you know how expensive they are. Just to create a 5 x 7 postcard on 80 lb. card stock and mail out is ridiculous in price. You are usually paying for a mailing list, the printing, packaging, not to mention the postage which seems to increase with every baby Britney Spears has. Their DM piece is prodigious. Not only is it a large boxed mailer (I won't even guess on the weight and postage), but they included 2 of their biggest competitors...Red Bull and Monster...sitting along side Vitamin Energy so the consumer can compare on their own. I looked for numbers on the ROI of the campaign, but came up empty handed.

Since I looked so amazing at the SATC movie premiere on the maroon (not red) carpet, let's tackle the subject of product placement. Not only were Vitamin Water bottles seen throughout the movie, but they did a number of print and tv ads prior to and even flavored/labeled a drink after Carrie called "XXX" with the tag "Get Carried Away." Genius.

Vitamin Water teamed up with Mobile Marketing Agency EnMobile to tap the Generation Y consumers and increase brand awareness. They created a text message campaign where the winner could win an entire year of Vitamin Water. I wonder if they'd let the winner trade it in for a vending machine?

Balls to the wall marketing. Literally. We all know how unbalanced NY fans are about their hometown teams, right? Vitamin Water's media agency placed a billboard of David Wright next to a billboard of Big Papi DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM YANKEE STADIUM. No need to reread, I'll repeat...they posted two billboards of Wright and Ortiz across from Yankee Stadium with this headline "Best in NY". Are you kidding me. I feel like Michael Phelps saying I'm at a loss for words even though I keep talking!

Their tv ads are pretty catchy too. Just the mental picture of Shaquille O'Neil as a horse jockey is an oxymoron but they gave us an actual picture that aired during the Super Bowl. If you want to see the ad, check out YouTube...my favorite part is the kid in the stands picking his nose. Nothing to do with Vitamin Water OR horse races, but I'm a fan nonetheless.

Deep Focus is the Interactive Marketing Solutions Agency Vitamin Water chose to test a brand awareness campaign via the social web, where the idea was the distribute ideas virally through such mechanisms as Top Friends. In a period of 8 days, they ran a campaign where you could send a "virtual drink" to a friend and within this time frame, they saw approximately 10 million "buy a drink" actions on the web. I got too tired to find out what the "buy a drink" was all about, but 10 million hits is commendable for website!

Vitamin Water's retail sampling program is known as "hydrology". More than 100 highly energized, company-trained "hydro-logists" promoting the brand. Not to be confused with Abercrombie and Fitch "brand ambassadors" only wearing flip flops and Abercrombie cologne. Seriously, have you seen them? Nothing else.

Other notable faves to give Vitamin Water kudos on:

On every stop of the Carnival Tour, Carrie Underwood takes the Electric Yellow-colored Energy flavor to continue the branding efforts. How often do you see a drink named after the headliner? Adoring fans spend $47 on a pink wife-beater that says "before he cheats". I'm sure they'll spend a few bucks on a refreshment.

Air Tran now carries Vitamin Water as their in-flight drink and has it printed on the napkins and ticket jackets. I flew Air Tran for the first time a month ago and was jazzed to have a Vitamin Water on the flight! (Be sure to ask for a full one or they'll poor you a dinky cup that splashes everywhere.)

Vitamin Water set up a sampling station at popular spring break destination, Panama City, Florida. Behind a tiki bar you could be served a free 10 ounce sample to quench your thirst..or hangover.

mcnabbisback.com --"journey of passion, courage and hydration." Need I say more?

My personal fave: "Every day needs more" is another benefit of the drink. "Like enabling the visually challenged to focus better at strip clubs." This is part of their marketing and I love a sense of humor.

Another ad displays a plumber fixing what looks to be a desperate housewives' sink. Ad reads "Drink Power. Lay More Pipe."

Vitamin Water's advertising agency as of 2/2/07 is Berlin Cameron United so a big round of applause to them and everyone else that has played a role in Vitamin Water's wild success. My fridge is always stocked (waiting for my vending machine) and my favorite is Defense.

And I am an only child, but was just kidding about being spoiled. Had to throw that caveat in case my dad started reading this too :)





.jl.

I want a bedazzled sweater vest for Christmas

It took four years after the last episode to see the much anticipated movie, so cut me some slack for taking a little over two months to recount my experience with the Sex and the City premiere.  

Good things come to those who wait.

Movie critics warned us that the premiere night (May 30) was going to be a force to be reckoned with, but I had no idea what I was in store for.  Needless to say, I did not sharpen my cat claws, pull out any of my old prom dresses, go purchase a new one from Saks, or rock a fedora to the premiere.  Had I known the night ahead, I would have called some of the catty girls from my sorority to help me step up my game.  I should have known pulling up to the Angelica theatre in downtown Houston that I was ill-prepared for the evening.  The girls and I made one wrong move..drinking bottles of wine at dinner rather than cosmos.  Will the higher authorities ever forgive us?!  (I must first preface the encounter below by stating I have never seen an episode of SATC but my good friends Lisa, Sophie and Kristi are always a good time so I couldn't pass up a chance for girls night.)

So here goes the night in greater detail than you've probably ever wanted to know, but I laugh just thinking about it:

Lucky for us, or so we thought, we bought our tickets early.  We knew the movie would be sold out way in advance so Lisa (or Kristi?) bought our tickets a few days earlier.  We were greeted with views of limos, a red carpet, pretend paparazzi and faux SATC cast members, which if you've ever been to downtown Houston is quite a change of scenery.  The four of us filed into line and waited patiently to be let inside.  This was my first experience being let inside a movie theater late..I mean honestly, how can a movie be running late?  It isn't as if we had to wait for Sarah Jessica Parker to show up.  Regardless, we stood in line for an hour past show time.  

So while Sophie and I are standing in line waiting patiently (while Lisa and Kristi were suave enough to sneak past the Wackenhut to save us seats), I noticed my friend Kristen walk in.  If you know Kristen at all, it should be no surprise her and her friends walked to the front of the line.  They walked past all the guys in extra small Armani shirts and Juicy Couture jeans and directly in front of all the girls in frolicky gowns just as if they were at a club.  Having been in line for entirely too long I walked up and said hello.  As we are chatting away about weekend plans and of course commenting on girl's outfits, a heffer walks up and starts tapping me in the chest.  I don't know if I can accurately describe this "tapping" but basically pointing and tapping at my chest hard enough to leave a bruise (sorry, I'm anemic and bruise easily).  

Conversation:

Heffer:  What show are you here to see?

Me: (trying so hard not to sound like an a$$) Sex and the City (and then promptly turn around to the more important conversation)

Heffer:  What show do you have tickets for?

Me:  9:30 (again, promptly turning around because I am not interested in what this girl is selling)

Heffer:  Well we are here for the 8:30 so you need to move to the end of the line.

Me: (Oh dear.)  Then go back in line and wait until they call your show (turning back around).

Heffer:  (rapid finger tapping and screaming to me and others in the vicinity) We have been here all night and you cut in line, so go back.  (Then she points to the Wackenhut police officer/security guard as if I'll get arrested if I don't quickly oblige.)

As I look at her place in line I see Sophie still holding our spot in line.  I very calmly say, "Look, I know you're pissed that you're rocking a bedazzled shirt-I would be too.  But if you see where my friend and I are in line you'll obviously agree that if you've been here all night as you claim, we've been here longer.  Hence the better spot in line.  Have a nice day."  And I turn around again for what I thought would be the end.  No sir.  I should have known better. What I failed to mention in the above is that I came directly from work.  While I have full confidence in the clothes I wear to work, even on casual Fridays, I had failed to notice what I was wearing.  (First rule of thumb..if you are going to make fun of someone, you know the saying..Check yourself before you wreck yourself.)

Heffer's comeback:

"Oh.  Bedazzled?  Funny."  Then she gets louder than anyone I've ever heard before.  Even louder than Susan Jack in college.  "This girl is making fun of my sparkly shirt and she's wearing a sweater vest."  

Ok, I'll admit it.  Even Heffer's have good comebacks from time to time.  I'm not sure I'd go as far to say it was a sweater vest, but it was close.  Sweater vest or not, it was hot.  And it isn't like I made it at home with a bedazzler machine.  I bought it.  At Express.  So there.

Heffer goes back to line, and so do I (sweater vest and all).  As Sophie and I are standing there laughing at the encounter, Heffer continues her antics.  I cannot begin to tell you how many times I heard "sweater vest" standing there in line.  Heffer was relentless so I walk back to her where I see she's united with Heffers.  Great.  Trying to smooth things over I say "Look, let's just enjoy the movie.  You're rocking bedazzled.  I'm rocking a sweater vest.  It is what it is. Call it like we see it.  End of story.  Move on and enjoy your night."

Thinking and hoping that would be the end, it certainly was not.  At this point, Soph and I are contemplating scalping our tickets and heading to a bar..any bar.  I guess Heffer took a reprieve and started heckling another girl eating nachos so I thought I was in the clear.  But then Heffer makes her fatal move.  She starts yelling that I'm sporting a Louis "Fuitton".  First, if you know me, I don't rock fake stuff (well maybe one thing, well two, but that's it).  When it comes to name brands, if I can't afford it, I don't buy it at the flea market.  I don't judge anyone that does, it just isn't my style.  Needless to say the flamboyant men at the movies got my back because they know fake Louis when they see it.  And to make matters worse, Heffer and wolf pack sat in front of Kristen and her friends during the movie.  Probably not a smart move.  

So while it took me a while to cool down from the bedazzled/sweater vest debacle, it was a very eventful evening.  I loved the movie.  I loved my friends that stood by my side and still make fun of the sweater vest even to this day.  

In hindsight, the perfect comeback to Heffer would have been "I curse the day you were born."

I'm starting to feel a bit nostalgic..I may wear that to work tomorrow.  

.jl.