Monday, March 2, 2009

this bachelor should stay just that..a bachelor

As you all know by now, I'm addicted to Reality TV and ABC's The Bachelor falls into that heinously embarrassing category.  

I've always been leery of people "falling madly in love" in front of cameras after only knowing their suitor for 6 weeks, but gluttons fall for it season after season, network after network.  Somehow they don't catch on that these relationships NEVER work, so shame on them.  I mean, how hard is it to feel on top of the world and in love when you're riding around in helicopters?  Meanwhile, homeboy probably drives a Ford Focus, not a Maserati.  Get real ladies.  The mansion in LA pales in comparison to his real 700 sq. ft. apartment in the slums of Seattle.  Dates consisting of Natasha Beddingfield singing live to you is not the same as riding in the Ford Focus with Whitney Houston on the FM radio.  Of course it feels surreal and amazing.  It's supposed to...that's how ABC makes their money you idiots!

ABC and this season's bachelor, Jason Mesnick took it quite a bit too far. First of all, I never saw a rule book for The Bachelor that says at the end of the season you are REQUIRED to get engaged.  This illusive rule book also doesn't say you must make out and fall in love with multiple people.  It probably isn't smart to go in the "fantasy suite" with one girl the night before you propose to another.  

Also, you've already been on TV for a few months making your case about deserving to fall in love.  What on earth possesses you to wait to dump YOUR FIANCE on live TV?  Was that really necessary? I know ABC probably paid you a fat bonus to dump her live, but come on. Grow a pair and stand up and be a human being for once in your ridiculously sad life.  

ABC..I am totally appalled by your inhumane actions.  You obviously perpetuated this ridiculous dramatic Monday night and ruined people's lives because of it.  I hope your ratings were worth the heartbreak.  ABC no longer stands for American Broadcasting Companies, it stands for ASSHOLE Broadcasting Companies.  And please don't tell me you expect all of us lame reality watchers to think this wasn't planned out?  I don't believe for two seconds that Jason and Molly haven't spoken, texted, emailed or seen each other in 6 weeks.  Give me a break.

While it's obviously absurd to ask me to break my addiction to reality TV, I will not feel bad for any of you that go on a dating show to find true love and then get hurt.  You know what they say, fool me once... fool me after 30 seasons of the same dramatic ending, shame on YOU.  

Jason..I don't say this often, but you sir, do not deserve a happy ending.  Go ahead and start your own show "The Forever Bachelor because I'm a J.E.R.K." on the ASS network.

Melissa, you poor girl.  You live in Dallas, I live in Houston...let's go party and male bash all night long sister. 

.jl.

5 comments:

k said...

Is it possible that Jason upstaged that disaster of a bachelor, Austin's own Brad Womack? All signs point to yes.

Sarah said...

I love you. A fabulous rant if there ever was one. I completely agree with everything you said.

However, my biggest problem with the Bachelor (and all other similar fall in love reality shows) has been and continues to be the fact that you are not monogamous with your finance (or whoever you pick if you don't propose and merely give her an airplane ticket instead) until literally the day he proposes. I mean, let’s pretend, it all worked out and he didn’t dump Melissa on television like a total A$$ (and I agree I would love to know how much he got paid to do that). How would she really have felt looking back 6 weeks, 6 months or even 6 years from now, seeing her husband bawling on national television (really Jason? Pull it together.) over another “girl” who he was also falling in love with at the same time he was falling in love with you and since he doesn't live in Utah, had to dump one of you? Talk about a great how you met story.

JLL INGRAM said...

I was appauled last night. I liked Jason at first but after what I saw last night my feelings have changed. I understand feelings change. But to break up with your fiance on NATIONAL TELEVISION?? That's taking it to a new low. I feel really bad for Melissa. He did her dirty. And Molly- she is pathetic for taking him back!

Joy said...

A few comments:

1) I love this blog. Nice work.
2) I refuse to watch the bachelor (and subsequently the bachelorette) as I feel it is a sad, pathetic and utterly desperate portrayal of women. And on national TV no less. Which, I guess if you want to be the a$$ to go on the show, you deserve to look like the sad, pathetic and utterly desperate woman that you are.
3) Sarah clearly watched this at Friedel's. As I am quite sure cable isnt a part of her finances. Regardless, I am joyed to see her involvement in mindless television banter. Its been far too long...welcome back.
4) Speaking of finances- fiance(e)....ha. Sorry, had to continue to be an a$$ =)

Good thing I had Intervention, Paranormal State and I Love Money 2 to keep me from the Bachelor time suck.

Tam'ra said...

I agree wholeheartedly. Oh, the DRAMA!