Sunday, February 1, 2009

Crawl Back Where You Came From.

Hello Bandwagon fans.  You come around each and every post season and each and every post season I get fully disgusted with your buffoonery.  

Super Bowl XLIII ended just minutes ago and these "fans" are faking a high level of elation because "their" team won.  More than likely, this is the first Steelers game they've watched all season or possibly EVER.  I'm thinking Steeler Nation just tripled its members and I just vomited.  

Being a HUGE  fan of sports myself, there is nothing more aggravating than these bandwagoners.  Just because your third cousin's ex-wife lives 250 miles outside of Indianapolis, does not mean you're "from there" and that you've grown up watching the Colts for decades.  And it doesn't justify you being a huge Peyton Manning fan immediately following Super Bowl XLI.  For those of you not into sports, bandwagon activity is similar to someone saying "so and so is my favorite band ever", when in actuality they only know that one song currently playing on every radio station.  

I'm already bracing myself to see icky Steelers yellow all over town tomorrow (and not to mention all the myspace and facebook statuses about victory).  These fan fakers come out of the woodworks and I'm not a fan of them.  
I'd like to invoke a new rule:
Fans must show proof of previous loyalty (as in, before the big win) before they can purchase any article of clothing or paraphernalia 2 weeks following any big win.  

For those of you that are sickly debating becoming a bandwagon fan, read this excerpt from eHow (not that I'm condoning becoming one, I just thought this was funny):

Step 1. Choose a team that has enjoyed a good amount of success. Becoming a bandwagon fan of a very successful team will keep you from having to switch again next year.

Step 2. Cheer for a player instead of a specific team. When that player leaves a team, cheer for whichever team he plays for. Be sure to choose a very talented player, though, as his team is more likely to be successful.

Step 3. Claim to have always admired your new team. Being a bandwagon fan involves a little bit of fibbing every now and then.

Step 4. Buy cheap and generic apparel from your favorite team. Since you’re just a bandwagon fan, there is no need to spend $100 on a unique game-day jersey.  (I call this the fashion statement)

Step 5. Once your team starts losing, stop cheering for that team. If somebody asks you about this, simply tell the person that you don’t really care all that much about this particular team, anyway.

Step 6. Change teams every couple of years. A bandwagon fan has little loyalty to any one team. If another team becomes dominant, switch your allegiance to that team.

Step 7. Don’t pay a lot of attention to your team until the playoffs. Everybody knows that bandwagon fans come out when their team is on the verge of a championship. Once the playoffs start, wear your cheap sweatshirt and support “your team” loudly.

John Ciccarelli wrote this in one of his articles.. "For all of the criticisms that bandwagoners receive, I feel that it is only fair to recognize the tremendous amount of courage they possess. After all, these courageous individuals risk life, limb and any semblance of team loyalty when they leap from one bandwagon to the next."

Be warned..If I suspect you are a bandwagon fan I WILL call you out.  Be ready to back up your pseudo-loyalty with lots of knowledge on your team, including present and past players and present and past coaches.  For the record--I'm completely at ease with bandwagon fans that admit it. Call a spade a spade and you have my semi-respect.  

And for the record, I was not excited about boring Super Bowl XLIII but was pleasantly surprised with a good game.  If the officials had thrown the flag one game earlier, the Eagles would be there, but that's another blog another day.  



k said...

that picture is absolutely appalling.

k said...

that picture is 100 percent heinous.

Anonymous said...

you need to make your font bigger -- it is too small and I stop reading bc I have to squint to make out the words!!

jlamm said...

as soon as someone offers to help me redesign my template I plan to make the font bigger. But because this is a customized template I can't change the size right now. Feel free to send me some examples of templates to put up here or better yet, help me find someone that wants to do it for free and I'll give them props on here!

Thanks, JL

Sarah said...

The pic is great! Reminds me of gaytor fans and attire.

Didn't we have this same conversation via myspace bulletin 2 years ago when the Colts were in it? :)