Tuesday, August 11, 2009

my black cloud..in the form of a bulldozer

It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that my black cloud followed me on my vacation home to Virgina.

The story goes a little something like this..

My friend Janet and I went to Granby street for drinks and girl time. On our way back to the parking garage, low and behold there is a HUGE yellow bulldozer sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. It was like a gift from God with a sign saying "Here is a prop for your weekend photoshoot". I mean really..it was directly in the middle from the bar to the parking garage, IN THE SIDEWALK on the way to the car. Any normal human obsessed with picture taking would have jumped on the opportunity..or bulldozer.

After a few fun photos (that didn't hurt anyone), Mr. Policeman pulls up, lights blazing, shining his flashlight telling me I'm trespassing. Since when does the middle of the sidewalk, with no signs, no caution tape, equal trespassing? I'm really not trying to be a smart a$$, but doesn't it have to be private property or equipped with proper signage to denote trespassing? And I might add this picture is of me asking the cop to take our picture..before I get off the bulldozer. Opps.

Off the bat, Mr. Policeman is not a fan of my antics and threatens to write me a ticket for Trespassing. As I'm stepping off the bulldozer he starts threatening to take me to jail for Drunk in Public, which made me think I was off the hook, SINCE I WASN'T DRUNK. Though the picture above DOES look like I'm wasted, that is my natural, beautiful appearance.


After he repeatedly threatened to take me to jail for being drunk in public, I got somewhat offended and asked for a Breathalyzer. You have to prove someone is in fact drunk to write them a ticket for drunk in public, correct? He refused to give me a Breathalyzer and instead puts me in handcuffs and in the back of the cop car, trying to prove his 5'2 stature of being a real man. After much begging from my dear friend, he let me go with a ticket for Disorderly Conduct.

The moral of the story-I was smarter than the cop by telling him he wasn't feasible to give me a drunk in public ticket without proving I was drunk. BUT, I was stupider than the cop by telling him that so he could write me a "legitimate" ticket for something else stupid.

And all I have to show for it is this stupid picture. I should frame it right next to the ticket.

For those that are familiar with the Granby Street area in Norfolk, I think we can all agree there are more important things for the cops to be doing than harassing two twenty-seven year olds just having old fashion fun. Our conduct was far from disorderly.

(All joking aside, I plan to write a post and letter to the local editor about how cops think they rule the world, and even when you're right, if the cop says you're wrong, you're just plain wrong.)



Nicky said...

Ha!!! Oh, Jaime. I wish he had just taken you to the station, you could've made an ass out of him and caused a scene there.