My Best a$$

The best part about moving to Florida was meeting my best friend.  Happy Birthday Joyful.  (and don't judge the songs..they make the perfect soundtrack to our friendship).  

.jl.

Professional Vacationers Take on Puerto Rico..

Vacationing with best friends is a must in anyone's life. And we should be no different...except we are. Together we grunt through the tedious work weeks simply to take exuberant and ridiculous (though completely necessary) vacations which we capture into our memories with a gagillion pictures (338 to be exact), catch phrases and high fives that only we could understand, and recently...blogs. And let's not fail to mention the memory we leave with many of the islanders...

(PS, you DO NOT in fact need a passport to go to Puerto Rico nor are you required to go through customs to enter or leave PR...seems like the entire world knew this except us...which only means we need to plan another vacation immediately to a destination that does require this)

Puerto Rico was amaaazing (not amazzzing) and is recommended for a couple's getaway, girl's weekend or any spontaneous vacation. We don't discriminate drinks...local beer, mojitos, daiquiris of all flavors and sizes, shots, wine, most of Rafi's special drinks, and whatever else is thrown our way. Who are we to judge what we drink while on vacation? And whether you're hungover, have the flu, fighting food poisoning or are just plain exhausted, a drink on the beach in PR will always take the pain away. Well at least more so than $40 worth of identical, non working cold medicine and a roll of traveling toilet paper. You are in freakin' Rico for goodness sakes!

This trip marked the beginning of the High Five Pact...which not only signifies our devotion to our legitimate careers in vacationing but also our friendship that has been nothing short of amaaazing with a shared motherhood of an 18 lb teacup Chihuahua. Or as his surogate mother is convinced, an 18 lb Dachiwawa.

We realized on the great island of Puerto Rico... the truth hurts so wear a helmet and it's all about the story. A pen and pad for documentation should always be handy. It's important to peep the peep. Personal concierge's are a necessity for travel. We will always get upgraded even if we get turned down. Praying for sun really works. Moms like to give us their 19 year old sons Facebook info to look them up. Which I guess as the older we get, is a compliment. Still not sure. Jackpot Party is a game that can be played for hours and can reap many rewards. Texas Tea is a close second. American Airlines should change their name to Amateur Airlines because it's much more fitting and the #2 flight attendant should be fired. New Yorkers may be on to this whole Professional Vacationer thing. A hammock and an ipod are sometimes all you need (well, and maybe a camera). In a Spanish country, speak Spanish. Even if no one else is and you don't really know what you're saying. When in doubt- simulate actions like eating an "apple." Pirates are popular in places other than Tampa, FL. Directions in San Juan are never accurate enough, regardless if you are a competent driver with a semi-competent co-pilot. Even a pictorial of a cloud with rain over a tree which clearly identifies the rainforest is still not enough to denote the directions to the actual rainforest. Where the hell was 191 on that one? We should film Corona or Medella commercials on a regular basis. Always be in it to win it- score or not, especially when nickels are involved.

And it's ok to eat McDonald's on Valentines Day with your best friend in Puerto Rico.

.Jayme & Joy.

Tim Teblows his Cover!

Preface to this story..

I recently posted a blog asking for help on writing exercises and ways to get creative juices flowing. I did my own research and found this fun (at least I consider it so) game called "writing tennis" or "email tennis". Basically you go and back and forth writing a piece of a story, send it to someone else, they add their line, and then send it back or to another person..and so on and so forth. Also another great way to make a slow work day pass by..

So here's the story from the Three Amigos..the best friends any girl could ever ask for.  Thanks for the support and the sharing of hilarious imaginations.  

Tim Teblows his Cover!

So the other night I went to dinner with a few girlfriends and I wore a scarf, as usual. Scarves have been a constant in my wardrobe for what seems like umpteen years. But one of my dinner patrons commented that I am copying her style by wearing scarves. I think it's important to note that over the year of our friendship, I've seen her in a scarf once. Yes, once. I think it's also important to note that while I adore wearing scarves, it's become all the rage, for whatever reason. How can one person take credit for starting this trend of scarves? Clearly I knew that this had absolutely nothing to do with scarves at all. This comment was fueled by her obvious jealousy of me. And in turn, her passive aggressive way of picking a fight.

You see, three months ago we all were out at a club when lo and behold we ran into her ex boyfriend. Now when I say "ex boyfriend" I use the term in the loosest of senses. They "dated" for just two months. Well, she dated him. Her Facebook status read "in a relationship" and, well, his said nothing at all. And just to clarify what my role is in this, we had hooked up a few times back in college...he wanted more, I did not. Yeah, college, the golden years. Sigh. He was a Phi Delt. A cute Phi Delt, but come on, I was a stuck up, bow head KD. We did not date Phi Delts. A Phi Delt shacker shirt? I don't think so. What would all my princess, trust fund, bleach blond sorority sisters think? He was cute though. I blew him off for an ATO. ATOs now those were the guys to date. They were the coolest (while questionably gay) guys, with the best date functions and after hours parties that blew your socks off. He drove a BMW and was the president. Ok, so there was the rumor that he spiked a few girl's drinks here and there, but I was sure it wasn't true. Probably started by that Phi Mu in our Biology class who was always drooling over him. Wonder what ever happened to them?

What the hell do you think happened to him? The "ex-boyfriend" of hers, ex-fling of mine, did what every other person we went to highschool and college with has done as of late...got freaking married. And from what my friend Janine said, he doesn't drive a BMW anymore. He drives a tan Sienna mini-van with 20 inch rims complete with baby seats in the back AND third rows. Imagine if we hooked up now (I try my best not to hook up with married men..), I certainly wouldn't have to do the walk of shame from the Phi Delt house..now he could give me a ride in the mini-van and drop me off at home. I wonder if I should give him a call tonight or go to the mall to buy my scarves to tick off the passive aggressive friend of mine. There's got to be something a little more productive with my time, right? Wait, what am I thinking...I will NOT call him. Like I said, I do my best not to hook up with married men. And little does my scarf envious friend know, I am certainly not the one she should be picking fights with. So that night at the club when we ran into him, her best friend was...well...very intoxicated. And though I can not confirm it, I am almost certain she was doing lines of coke in the bathroom that night. Real hopped up on something. We lost her in the club for awhile...couldn't find her anywhere. Scarf drama friend started with her tear dramatics over Phi Delt Mini Van and the demise of their 2 month "love." A drunken mess. I decided to run to the bathroom to get her tissues. Lord knows I don't want people thinking I am friends with such a disaster of a girl...mascara everywhere. Of course, the line for the girl's bathroom was a million miles long. So I slipped into the men's room in hopes of a paper towel, square of toilet paper, something. And you would never believe what I saw!

It would have been bad enough seeing him on the dance floor trying to bust a move, or anywhere ever on planet earth, but this is much worse. I saw the worst gaYtor of them all...Tim Tebo...and my bathroom experience really sheds light on why everyone calls him "Tim Teblow". He was wearing, of course, a heinous orange and blue lacoste shirt with khakis. You could tell his shirt had been tucked in all night..until his little bathroom escapade. I can't imagine winning the 2008 national championship (boo, hiss) is really all that hard compared to what he does in bar bathrooms. If you ask me, I've always thought he was more of a wide receiver than a quarter back. And he sure as hell could never be a tight end after seeing him in the bathroom! Immediately I took pictures with my phone and am in the process of sending them to a huge magazine to publish an expose on Teblow's dirty little secret. I think the headline should read...Tim Teblows his Cover!

.jl.