Saying "No Thanks" to lunch dates...

A couple weeks ago I had a speaking engagement for work in front of a large group. Afterwards there was a brief meet and greet type deal and this guy approached me and sparked an uninteresting, full-on awkward conversation. As I was wrapping up (aka, walking away), he asked me if I ever wanted to grab lunch...in front of numerous others. Of course my business cards were on the table out front so he had my number, email address and work address, merely for business purposes, and like diarrhea of the mouth, I responded "sure", because what else would you say in that scenario?

"Oh, I'm not interested."

"No thanks, I have a boyfriend."

"I'm way too busy."

"Before I commit to this lunch, what are your intentions? Are we going to discuss business or is this an attempt to get to know one another on a personal level because that is unacceptable?"

What if he only meant a casual, platonic lunch..maybe even to talk about business (which I still can't seem to draw the connection given both of our industries).

So here's the proverbial question...What Do You Say?

I was hoping it was a rhetorical question and he never intended on calling to follow up on lunch. Maybe he ran out of things to say during our encounter and didn't want to sound rude so he casually mentioned lunch? But...no such luck. He called...and has continued to call. I have been a coward and ignoring his calls and even accidentally answering and then saying "hold on" and then hanging up. I know I know..not mature at all. But since I already said yes, how do you get out of it?

I find lunch with a man you don't really know, who isn't directly related to business at hand to be inappropriate for someone in a relationship, but how do you say that without sounding like an a$$? What if you respond to his offer "That sounds great, but I have a boyfriend" and they counter with something like "I was just going to talk to you about how you market health care in this region, you conceited biatch!" Are you supposed to ask up front "Before we go to lunch, what are your intentions?" because that sounds heinously crazy.

What is the right answer, or is there one?

.jl.

apparently I'm not alone

recently I posted this about my adult shenanigans and got tons of comments on my social media pages.

And here is my favorite.. thanks to my friend Robyn for throwing her sister under the bus...or off the bulldozer..I am not alone..THE SAME BULLDOZER ON THE SAME STREET..it strikes again.

I love my friends..and our like-minded silly/craziness.

.jl.

Help United Way by buying discounted Astros tickets!

$2 for every ticket sold using this link and password (hermann) will go back to the United Way campaign. Only good for Thursday, 8/20 game.

Stop by Lucky's Pub for great Happy Hour prices before the game and catch the shuttle to the stadium.

Anyone is eligible. Pass it around and enjoy!

.jl.

my black cloud..in the form of a bulldozer

It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that my black cloud followed me on my vacation home to Virgina.

The story goes a little something like this..

My friend Janet and I went to Granby street for drinks and girl time. On our way back to the parking garage, low and behold there is a HUGE yellow bulldozer sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. It was like a gift from God with a sign saying "Here is a prop for your weekend photoshoot". I mean really..it was directly in the middle from the bar to the parking garage, IN THE SIDEWALK on the way to the car. Any normal human obsessed with picture taking would have jumped on the opportunity..or bulldozer.

After a few fun photos (that didn't hurt anyone), Mr. Policeman pulls up, lights blazing, shining his flashlight telling me I'm trespassing. Since when does the middle of the sidewalk, with no signs, no caution tape, equal trespassing? I'm really not trying to be a smart a$$, but doesn't it have to be private property or equipped with proper signage to denote trespassing? And I might add this picture is of me asking the cop to take our picture..before I get off the bulldozer. Opps.

Off the bat, Mr. Policeman is not a fan of my antics and threatens to write me a ticket for Trespassing. As I'm stepping off the bulldozer he starts threatening to take me to jail for Drunk in Public, which made me think I was off the hook, SINCE I WASN'T DRUNK. Though the picture above DOES look like I'm wasted, that is my natural, beautiful appearance.

Honest.

After he repeatedly threatened to take me to jail for being drunk in public, I got somewhat offended and asked for a Breathalyzer. You have to prove someone is in fact drunk to write them a ticket for drunk in public, correct? He refused to give me a Breathalyzer and instead puts me in handcuffs and in the back of the cop car, trying to prove his 5'2 stature of being a real man. After much begging from my dear friend, he let me go with a ticket for Disorderly Conduct.

The moral of the story-I was smarter than the cop by telling him he wasn't feasible to give me a drunk in public ticket without proving I was drunk. BUT, I was stupider than the cop by telling him that so he could write me a "legitimate" ticket for something else stupid.

And all I have to show for it is this stupid picture. I should frame it right next to the ticket.

For those that are familiar with the Granby Street area in Norfolk, I think we can all agree there are more important things for the cops to be doing than harassing two twenty-seven year olds just having old fashion fun. Our conduct was far from disorderly.

(All joking aside, I plan to write a post and letter to the local editor about how cops think they rule the world, and even when you're right, if the cop says you're wrong, you're just plain wrong.)

.jl.

Fight Breast Cancer One Bra at a Time

Contact: Jayme Lamm jaymelamm@yahoo.com

August 3, 2009
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Introducing BRA ART – A New Way to Fight Breast Cancer

Houston – Charity Chicks Houston continues to fight strong with their promise to raise awareness and money for worthy non-profits in a fun, creative way as they roll out BRA ART.

BRA ART is a unique themed bra decorated with love, hope and courage by groups or individuals raising money and awareness for breast cancer and The Save the Ta-tas Foundation. The group welcomes and encourages creativity for each bra to be a masterpiece of art, whether it’s in honor of someone who’s battled the disease or something completely out of the ordinary. This is Houston’s chance to show what creativity and good will lurks in each and every mind.

“We got the idea from an event in Virginia, where the other Charity Chicks founder is from,” said Tam’ra Powell, co-founder of Charity Chicks Houston. “We wanted to take the idea 10 steps forward and really make it fun. We are so blessed to live in a large urban city with artists coming out of the woodwork, we really wanted to appeal to those groups.”

The group will showcase the Top 50 BRA ART entries at their BRAtober 16th event at the Bering and James Art Gallery where the winner will be based on People’s Choice. The BRA ART and BRAtober 16 event will give all net proceeds to The Save the Ta-tas Foundation. The Save the Ta-tas Foundation exists for the advancement of breast cancer awareness, education and prevention, and to aid in the fight to find a cure. This national organization is supported by a growing base of like-minded individuals and businesses who share the view that "laughter heals" which is similar to the volunteers Charity Chicks recruits.

The winner will receive an unprecedented amount of paparazzi-like attention at the event and in the press, as well as be named the co-donor of raised funds to The Save the Ta-tas Foundation. The only 2 rules to submit a BRA ART entry are to be creative and to include nothing X-rated on the bras. The bras were generously donated by Maidenform. To sign up or learn more, visit the website and donate $50 to The Save the Ta-tas Foundation. All entries must be submitted by October 3 in order to be eligible.

“We feel every person has some sort of creative gene in their body so this ‘contest’ really does give everyone an equal chance. The winner is judged on creativity and it’s all in the name of ta-tas, so bring on the donations. Thankfully Maidenform donated plenty of bras, so don’t hesitate if you want to decorate a couple of them!” Powell continues.

-- CCH --
Charity Chicks Houston got the great idea from Charity Chicks Orlando (unaffiliated, but a truly inspiring group of women) and then added their own flair to the group in Houston.
The group meets throughout the year for a host of reasons and causes. Charity Chicks Houston plans at least one event per quarter to support a local charity either by volunteering or raising money - or both. The group also attends and helps with other activities throughout the year to continue to promote the plethora of charitable events in the great city of Houston.
The events and the organizations CCH chooses to support vary throughout the year based on current situations and the passion of members. The group is not affiliated with any particular non-profit organizations. The group is unpaid and there are no time or financial commitments to join or participate.

.jl.

Tennis...the game of LOVE-40

In attempts to get rid of the recent fat that has found its way to my belly, thighs, cheeks (both kinds) and other places I'm too ashamed to mention...I conned my boyfriend into a friendly (but still athletic) game of tennis.

Here's a short blurb of my conversation with my boyfriend, the tennis coach:

Me: George! Play like a normal human, you're my workout partner. 

George:  You're not my partner, you're my opponent.

Me: No babe, this is a workout, we are partners..you know, tennis partners.

George: You're on the other side of the net, therefore my OPPONENT.  And what does a normal human play like?

Me: Opponents don't go to Target and buy rackets together.  I doubt Roddick and Federer went shopping to buy rackets together, therefore we are PARTNERS!

A friendly game of tennis to a girl consists of aggressive volleying back and forth with some hustle here and there...and a friendly game of tennis to a guy simply doesn't exist.  

.jl.

ART & AC in Houston !!

ArtHouston 2009 is kicking off their 30th year this Saturday, July 11th at 36 galleries all over Houston (and all have air-conditioning!).

This is the perfect event for young artists or young art collectors and the galleries will be donating funds to help Hurricane Ike reconstruction.

The event is FREE and open to the public. The art scene in Houston is growing exponentially so check it out. If you want to start your own art collection for your first house or apartment, be sure to visit this event..they've got experts to point you in the right direction to find your perfect piece!

The event is from noon until 8pm on Satuday (the kick-off day) and most exhibits will be open the entire month of July. Be sure to check out my favorite...Bering and James located at 805 Rhode Place.

If you need more info or to get a copy of the brochure, call Mariah or Matthew at 713.522.9116 or visit the website.

.jl.

"Out of all my accessories, he's my favorite!"

(This is a story I wrote for my friends Jen and Josh on their recent engagement!) 

"Out of all my accessories, he's my favorite!"

      -Jen Henrichsen on her recent engagement to leading man, Josh Brown

Houston socialite and rockstar, Jennifer Henrichsen (known to the public as JenHen) returned home after a week long vacation in Key West, sporting a 99-diamond engagement ring on her reserved digit, courtesy of world-famous physical therapist, Josh Brown. 

Sources close to the couple tell us that Josh had been carrying the ring around the entire trip waiting for the “perfect” moment to pop the question.  The couple pulled an unthinkable stunt by boarding a 3-hour sunset cruise out of Key West for a romantic getaway..along with sixty other civilians.  Trying to avoid massive attention from passengers, Jen wore a gargantuan brim sunhat hiding her newly tanned face and Josh donned his white Armani shades. 

Reports indicate halfway through the cruise, Josh got down on one knee and asked, “Will you marry me and be my rockstar?”  An inside source, who wishes to remain anonymous, corroborates other reports that the starlet “was shocked and immediately said yes”.  Growing suspicious of the activity at the back of the boat, the passengers anxiously awaited to hear her answer.  Josh, seeming more nervous than working on an Olympic athlete’s broken leg shouted, “she said YES!”  Even the folks back on Duval Street could hear him.  Still unbeknownst of the couple’s famed status, the passengers cheered and congratulated the picture perfect couple.

Paparazzi were not allowed anywhere near the cruise ship due to the couple’s massive bodyguards in tow, but a nearby artist, Melissa Sims, sketched this picture just moments after the happy couple’s official engagement…  

 

The couple was still beaming with joy as the captain announced the news over the loudspeaker and toasted to a wonderful, glamorous life together.  The attention was by far the least amount they’ve received in recent months.  Eyewitnesses report the proposal was “intimate with lots of love and little fanfare”.

Later that evening the couple was spotted sharing a candlelit dinner and bottle of the finest cabernet at Key West’s prime dining destination, Martin’s on Duval.

Wireless provider, AT&T first leaked the story to the media by explaining to customers on their website the 5-hour wireless outage was “due to the Rock Star engagement of Josh and Jen that took over all our towers for sharing the news with friends and family via hundreds of phone calls, millions of text messages and multiple facebook updates.”  Reps from AT&T have yet to return our phone calls to determine how this invasion of privacy took place. 

Both reps confirm the engagement and report the soon-to-be-wed couple is beyond thrilled to continue their amazing life together.  A date has yet to be set, but the bride-to-be is diligently using her creativeness along side a wedding coordinator to plan the wedding of the century. 

(This story was written in jest for a fun-loving and creative couple.  The people in the story and the scenes are real.  Congratulations to Josh and Jen on their recent engagement…love your friends and family)

.jl.

RECESSION BUSTERS (June Story in Barstool)

Click on the left to read the article.  

.jl.

Hangovers..Unfinished Business (July Story in Barstool)

Story 1 of 2 in Barstool this month. Click on the picture to read the article..

oops...this story got pushed to July's issue...guess my blog readers got to read it before anyone else :)

.jl.