not all hotel bars are created equal (March Story in Barstool)

Click on the article to read and let me know what you think!

.jl.

In the Spirit of Being Thankful.. (November Barstool p 13 & 14)

In the spirit of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday (which also happens to be my birthday), let’s all share what we’re thankful for when it comes to the Houston nightlife scene.

I’ll start…I am eternally grateful for the guys that rock the front tuck because it ensures a full night of hysterical laughter. Don’t be indecisive guys…tuck your shirt in or leave it out, but not both. It’s the same reason mullets don’t work..it’s either business all over or party all over, but not both.  

I’m thankful that if I run into douche bags at one bar, there are plenty of other bars to scurry off to. I’m thankful that Lucky’s finally opened directly across the street from Lofts at the Ballpark. I’m thankful for s’mores at So Vino Wine Bar. I’m thankful for Bloody Sunday at The Wet Spot because I was born in Wisconsin so bloody marys are in my blood (no pun intended…swear). Not only am I thankful for the pizza that awaits you as you exit bars, I’m much more thankful for the bartering system of actually paying for the pizza. Sally Struthers would shit her pants if she knew just how cheap late night pizza was in midtown. (Tell me you remember Sally Struthers? The blonde crazy haired lady from the 80’s that always begged for money to feed kids in third world countries. Remember, for only $21 a day you can feed an entire orphanage.) I’m thankful for big belt buckles, cowboy hats and country line dancing at Wild West and Whiskey Creek. It doesn’t matter how many freaking times I see that Cotton Eyed Joe routine, I’ll never learn the damn dance but will forever be watchful. I’m thankful that every night in Houston is steak night somewhere. I’m thankful that hurricane IKE is over and our favorite bars are open and back in business. I’m thankful that no matter what bar you catch a football game at, there is ALWAYS some diva donning a jersey for a team she has no clue about but swears she’s a die hard fan. Speaking of football, I’m also thankful for any bar where I get to see the Florida GaYtors and Virginia Tech Hokies lose. It would be amazing if they were able to play against each other and both teams lost. ESPN and I would both be having a field day and would talk about it for weeks. I’m thankful for the big city views of downtown from some of my favorite bars even though I know downtown can sometimes look bigger and better than it really is. I’m thankful for hanging out at Howl at the Moon and just as I pick on a poor goon to make fun of, so do the dueling pianists. I’m also thankful for the word pianist. I’m thankful for my newly discovered flavored sake shots at Beer Island. I’m thankful for bars like Komodos that feel like home because lets face it..Komodos feels more like home than my apartment these days. I’m thankful for World Market because they are the ONLY place that sells Cupcake Chardonnay in town (and no, I did not mean Cakebread). I’m thankful for informing all the readers that Thanksgiving is ALWAYS on a Thursday, the last Thursday of November to be exact. So no need to ask “What day of the week is Thanksgiving on this year?” because the answer will always remain the same..Thursday. I’m beyond thankful for 80’s night at Pub Fiction and their Bacardi Fiction drink that tastes like grape soda for only $4 and always turns my lips purple. I’m thankful for an alcoholic concoction that resembles Dr. Pepper without actually having it as an ingredient-Three Olives Cherry Vodka and Coke. TRY IT. I’m thankful for bars that carry Three Olives Cherry vodka. I used to be thankful for bars that carried sugar-free redbull but according to the doc, I can’t drink it anymore, so what the hell do I care? I’m thankful for the many people that contributed to this article by supplementing my list with the one below. And in case you forgot, I’m thankful for my birthday being on Thanksgiving and all the wonderful shots my friends will buy me. But I am NOT thankful for the obvious hangover the next day.  

And who the hell could forget a city with a kicka$$ magazine like Barstool? I’m thankful for a publication like this.  

So I asked around and here’s what other Houstonians said:

“I am thankful for…”

never drinking more than 3 blue margaritas at El Patio
being able to sit in purple, blue, green and yellow chairs on the ever-popular Taco Milagro patio
reverse happy hours (in case you missed the normal one, or just to continue the fun at a cheap rate)
$6 cab rides in the city
new bars like Union that have awesome drink specials and numerous televisions
no matter what you wear or what you’re in the mood for, Houston always has a bar for you
cheap beer at West Alabama Icehouse
margaritas at the original Ninfa’s on Navigation
that Front Porch opened up their sister bar Porch Swing because you can never get enough of that atmosphere
industry nights all over town showing love to one another
kick ass tunes on Keneally’s jukebox
steak night at The Tavern
LSU football games at Big Woodrow’s
the fine girls that gather at the fine establishments in every crevice of Houston
valet guys that don’t make you pay when you pretend you don’t have cash
ROCBAR and their Monthly Mayhem
cheeseburgers and karaoke at Christian’s tailgate
cool door guys like Jessie at Zeppelin
Dirt Bar because it’s chill and remains Houston’s best kept secret (oops)
pre-nightlife with phenomenal drinks and dining in the Montrose area
the one-of-a-kind house music and DJ’s at Zeppelin
the variety of people (mostly men) you can meet in Houston
wonderful drinking supplies that can be acquired at Spec’s (aka Drinker’s Playground of Fun)
bars with roofs to showcase the Houston skyline in Midtown
Sky Bar and SouthBeach for dancing in Montrose
free piercings on Fridays at RocBar
Warehouse Live still booking amazing shows (and surprisingly enough never cutting me off)
numerous after-bar dining options other than Taco Bell
girls in short dresses that love dancing and always forget they are wearing short dresses (especially to the YMCA)
the stalker platform at Whiskey Creek so one can see the girls dancing in short dresses
my friends that bring their cameras to the bars and get pictures of the girls in short dresses (I kid, I kid)
dog-friendly bars (especially Little Woodrow’s and West Alabama Ice House)
favorite after work cheap spot…front porch (best mozzarella sticks—drunk or sober and frozen oj drinks)
THANKS again to those of you who shared what you’re thankful for.
On the count of three, we are all thankful for Barstool Mag….one…two…three

.jl.

Cover Story #2 for October Barstool...Pigskin Pubs

Pigskin Pubs (p 14 &15)

For those of you with a 60-inch projection screen, theatre style seating and a nice lady friend to cook the perfect bite-size football snacks (or Buffalo Wild Wings on speed dial) you may not get much use out of this article.  

But for those of us without those palatial amenities, here are some of the best places to park your derriere in front of a plethora of larger-than-life TV’s accompanied by countless drink specials and a menu bigger than Golden Corral.

The Wet Spot in Midtown is the numero uno place if you dig decks, numerous TV’s and a myriad of drink specials. The bar is not only stocked with your favorite alcohol, but it also comes equipped with individual TV’s for those of you afraid of sharing. In honor of one of the greatest sports on earth, the Wet Spot has Happy Hour on Saturdays and Sundays from 11a-4p with $5.25 domestic pitchers and $1.75 domestic drafts. Load up on your favorite dogs during Dog Day Weekend with $2 hotdogs and $2.50 corndogs. Bloody Sunday is a fan favorite with $4 bloody mary’s all day. The Wet Spot is also the official watch party for the Michigan State Spartans. Just the name alone gets me excited for football…and maybe a few other things.  

Host of the official Aggie watch party, Pub Fiction is a staple in the lives of football fans. Not only did Pub just revamp their already stellar menu, but on Monday Nights the food is half off. To wash it down, enjoy $2 domestic drafts, $2 wells, and $3 jager and tuaca shots. To make the most of Game Day Saturdays, Happy Hour is extended from 11a-9p featuring $2 wells, $2.50 mimosas, $0.35 wings and $2 Chicago-style dogs. Stop by on Sundays for a liquid brunch consisting of $10 carafes of mimosas, $3 build-your-own bloody mary bar, $3.50 domestic drafts and $4.50 import drafts. And $15 allows you to ravage 50 wings. Pub has over 40 HDTV’s for your viewing pleasure and 4 HD larger than life projection screens.

By far the most eclectic place to see a game is the aptly named Beer Island located in historic Heights with over 80 beer selections to choose from. Bring your four-legged friends with you because this bar loves dogs. They’re so dog friendly they’d probably let three-legged dogs join in the festivities. Beer Island is pretty much the Lone Star Headquarters (which by the way is the number one selling beer in the Heights) with $2 Lone Star pints and $5 pitchers. So while you’re sipping on Lone Star, your best friend Sparky can enjoy a fresh bowl of H20 courtesy of the sociable staff. The sports lounge fully equipped with recliners and couches make this place feel like the comfort of home. The menu consists of drunken dogs (wieners cooked in draft beer), $5 pizza and $1 popcorn. Beer Island’s claim to fame are their Hawaiian Five-O and Wild Island Strawberry sake shots. It’s probably considered a faux pas to not try one of the flavored sake drinks.  

Union just opened in Midtown and is going to be a prime destination for football with $8 domestic buckets and $11 import and the best Sangria this side of the confederate flag and 9 high def LCD ginormous screens. Swing by and grab a spot on the patio.
Lucky’s Pub is one of the best new spots to watch any sporting event, especially football. With party rooms big enough for alumni groups to horde, there is sure to be a motley crew of fans. Savor $7 Bud Light pitchers all-day Saturday and Sunday or $15 Bud family buckets. They feature a half price appetizer every weekend as well.

Kentucky Club has managed to get on the radar of many football fans as of late, and for good reason. It’s a chill little bar in a strip mall with enough TV’s to make you go cross eyed and drink specials so good the AA members should be warned ($4 pitchers of beer for crying out loud!).  

All the bars listed above have foregone noise levels during football season so if you’re the loud obnoxious fan that just can’t cheer loud enough, come on in. Just like Journey, they’ll welcome you with open arms. And if you’re the fan that just sits there with your tail between your legs, grow a pair and watch football with your mom.

.jl.